5 Things Modesty Never Taught Me

Modesty. The “M” word in our Christian circles. I have written a lot about it from the heart of modesty to what men really think about modesty.  Inevitably, people always make a comment about how destructive this concept of modesty is on a girl’s psyche as if somehow covering our bodies oppresses and demeans women. I have been taught to dress modestly all my life, and there is nothing wrong with my mindset or view of myself because of it. In fact, I believe that modesty has done quite the opposite. More specifically, here are 5 things modesty never taught me.

1. Modesty never taught me to be ashamed of my body.

In fact, being taught to keep my body covered actually added value in my eyes. My body is something special and was not meant to be seen by just every average joe I walk by on the street. I have saved my secrets for the man who makes me the promise of a lifetime. He alone is the only man who will be allowed to uncover what God has made. I have nothing to be ashamed of in that. God made me special, unique, and valuable and to dress immodestly would make me ashamed to cheapen God’s creation to simple street art.

That’s what the Bible means when it talks of “shamefacedness.” Any woman with a proper sense of shame will dress in such a way as not to be the source of temptation. I would be ashamed to dress in a manner that would cause others to sin or to bring shame on myself or my God. I am not ashamed of my body, I’m not ashamed to be a woman, I’m not ashamed to be the beautiful masterpiece that God has made me to be. My body is the temple of God and it belongs to Him. I am proud to be His daughter and I am proud to dress like it. 

2. Modesty never taught me to have no sexual desires.

At the risk of being inappropriate, I will say only this. Sex is designed by God inside marriage to be a beautiful and wonderful covenant between a husband and his bride. Modesty has taught me to keep that covenant sacred. It has taught me more than anything that God owns my body, and, when the time comes, my husband will receive all that God intended for me to give along side my marriage vows. He will get it all, and I will be happy to give it to him.

3. Modesty never taught me that men control my body.

I have heard it said that women who attempt to live modesty sacrifice their freedom and control to the men around them. This couldn’t more backwards. In keeping my body covered, I have chosen to remain in control of who sees what. I have chosen to walk down the street and know that I am free of the responsibility of causing men to lust or look at me in a sexually perverted way. No, modesty will not stop all men from dirty thinking, but modesty has put me in control of what I allow them to see for free. Modesty actually puts me in control.

4. Modesty never taught me that it is ALL my responsibility.

The lust in the hearts of the men around me is not my responsibility. However, allowing my body to be used as a catalyst for that lust is. I dress modestly for Jesus Christ – so that he will be pleased with what He sees when He looks at me. I also dress modestly for the sake of my brothers in Christ. God created them to be visually stimulated for a reason, and God gave women rules to follow in regard to this area. I understand that men are responsible for every thought they think in regard to me and my body. They are not brain-dead slaves to their minds. They can control their thoughts. However, because I have love toward them, I will take them into regard as I choose my wardrobe. I will take responsibility for my part in the equation so that I am not responsible for luring men into temptation with what I wear.

5. Modesty never taught me to dress like a frump.

Lastly, I want to make it very clear that just because I have chosen a life of modesty does not mean that I have to steer perfectly clear of all hints of fashion. I enjoy being a girl. I enjoy looking pretty. I enjoy shopping! {If you follow me on Instagram you’ll find that out pretty quick!} I simply limit what I fashions I choose to take part in in order be obedient to God, serve my brothers in Christ, and to be in control of how he world views my body. Modesty never ever means that you have to look ugly or unfashionable. You are beautiful, and there is nothing more beautiful than a woman who embraces her femininity in her appearance while keeping true beauty and modesty in mind. To me, that is truly being in control of my wardrobe.

To me, modesty is a beautiful word. It has taught me to value my body, to keep sexual desires inside of my marriage, to take control of my body by keeping it covered, to understand my responsibility in this area toward Christ and my brothers, and to embrace beauty and femininity.  This is how I choose to live not because I have to, not because I’m forced to, but because I want to and because this is where I find freedom to be the beautiful person God has created me to be. Girls, embrace modesty, for your own sake, and for the sake of Jesus Christ, and you will not be ashamed of your decision.



  1. I love love love this quote: “The lust in the hearts of the men around me is not my responsibility. However, allowing my body to be used as a catalyst for that lust is.” Thank you so much! I have seen NO ONE address the question, “Who is responsible?” despite seeing so many heated conversations in countless comment sections. Thank you for addressing this issue!


  2. Thank God for you, young lady, and for your wonderful words. You have no idea how encouraging reading your post today was and will continue to be to a seventy-three year old papa and grandpa who is often sorely grieved and discouraged by the direction that so many precious girls who name Christ as their Lord are taking in this matter.


  3. Yes, yes, and yes! As a young married woman I believe all this even more strongly than I did before marriage. Beautifully stated.


  4. This is simply beautiful and well stated. I agree with all 5 things here. Modesty has definitely kept away any self consciousness about how my clothes look. I am confident in all situations because modesty is always appropriate no matter where I find myself. Modesty is truly freedom. Thank you for writing and sharing!


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