I have written so many posts about modesty. It is a big burden on my heart to educate girls about the power of modesty. Please take the time to watch this video by Jessica Rey, designer and owner of Rey Swimwear.
[youtube_sc url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJVHRJbgLz8]
When girls think of the word “Modesty,” it is an automatic turn off for most of them. It’s an word that has been associated with “old-fashioned,” “frumpy,” and, let’s be honest, “boring.” So I want to start using a new term.. “discreet.” This term has what is truly meant behind what being “modest” in today’s age means. Discreet means “secretive,” “mysterious,” “classy,” and even “elegant.”
Being discreet is showing the world that you have parts of you that only a select group of people will ever get to see. You don’t have to show the world your body in order to show them your worth. Being discreet is knowing your worth is not in something as fleeting as your body… because, girls, it is gonna fade away. You are going to get old, you are going to gain weight, you are going to have babies, you are going to grow naturally and beautifully into old age. God would not give us a worth that fades away so easily.
Whenever God talks about giving someone worth, He talks about “clothing” them.
Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. Proverbs 31:25 The Proverbs 31 woman is known by what she is clothed in, and her power and worth lies in her strength and honour.
“Make tunics, sashes and headbands for Aaron’s sons, to give them dignity and honor. After you put these clothes on your brother Aaron and his sons, anoint and ordain them. Consecrate them so they may serve me as priests.” Exodus 28:40-41 God wants these garments to convey the honor and dignity of their position as priests. People would see Aaron and his sons and recognize them by the garments they wore and give them honor and respect because of who they were—they were God’s priests.
God has given us garments of honor as well. “I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.” Isaiah 61:10
But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof. Romans 13:14 Paul tells us to clothe ourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus is the salvation of God and the only way to wear the salvation God offers is through Jesus.
You see, the Lord has bought us with a price and given us clothing of honor. An immodestly dressed woman is giving away something that does not belong to her. The principle of ownership means that you and I, as daughters of God, are not free to dress in any way we please. We’re accountable to God for what we do with our bodies and who we show our bodies to.
Matthew 5:28 says, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” That is not just the sin of a man. That is also a sin that we as women commit– the sin of adultery– when we allow men to look at our bodies, and commit adultery with us in their minds.
Okay, so if you don’t know how the male mind works, I will give you a quick lesson. This is true, ladies. Please understand this. A man is sexually “turned on” by the sight of a woman’s body. What it is like for a man to look at an immodestly dressed girl is like when a cute guy that you really really like came and put his arms around your waist. You would like that…. well, it is the same for a guy, but they can take it even further in their minds. God gave them an incredible imagination when it comes to a woman’s body and sex. And if that guy does not have the holy spirit inside of him and if he doesn’t long to do the right thing, he will commit adultery with you in his mind. Period. Now, this ability is not necessarily a evil, bad thing. That is how God created men. He did that so that they would be the pursuers in relationships– so that they would be driven to go out and find a girl and marry her and fulfill those desires within marriage and raise godly families. Sin has just corrupted God’s plan, and the world today has waged war on the minds of these men. You see?
This is why God wants to clothe us with honor– to protect the men around us from committing sin and to ultimately protect us. Godly men want a woman who will not cause him to commit adultery with her in his mind. He wants a woman who is “mysterious” and “sacred” and “discreet.” He wants a woman he can “win” with inside of marriage alone.
God doesn’t want to cover up all our beauty so that we never get married and we sit at home alone dateless and ugly. He has set up this system because He created us and He knows how our minds and bodies work. He has done it to protect our purity and for men to look at us with honor. He has “clothed” us for our own good.
It is the enemy who wants to strip you, make sport of you, and merchandise everything that is sacred. He wants to take away your God-given worth, strength, honor, and mystery and, instead, shame you in front of the world. The video I posted above states that the study at Princeton University claimed that men associate women in bikinis with tool use. Something they USE to get a job done. Yikes. There have also been studies done that have shown that the male brain stores perceived “sexual encounters” in the same way that it stores actual sexual encounters. I guess God is right after all. That is not what God intended for his daughters, and that is not something we should want for ourselves.
So what do I wear to the beach? No, I don’t wear a “bathing costume.” lol There are lots of cute one piece bathing suits that I have found and I pair them with cute shorts. I will not let any man other than my husband see me in my underwear. I may look a whole lot more dressed than the other girls at the beach, but I would rather look cute and covered than have the men around me thinking about me in a sexual way and allowing them to commit adultery with me in their minds.
The point of this post was not to bash girls who wear bikinis. It was to simply inform you of the facts– of God’s purposes and of the enemy’s purposes and of how a man’s mind really works. Now that you know and understand, you are responsible to act on this information. My prayer is that you really think twice about who you are trying to please when you wear that bikini to the beach or post pictures of yourself in it on the internet.
Discreet, ladies. That is so much more attractive to the men we really want to catch. Men who actually want to get married and raise godly homes. Isn’t that what we want for ourselves? Then let’s stop being fooled by the enemy. Let’s take back the power that the world and the devil have taken from us. If we are truly living our lives for the glory of God, then it will determine why I wear what I wear. It will make me think twice before I give something away that is not mine to give. My Savior has clothed in me in salvation, strength, and honor, and I will not cheapen myself to be stripped and made sport of — not even at the beach.
To check out more of my posts on “Modesty” CLICK HERE
And don’t forget to check out my “Fashion Friday” section CLICK HERE
thefulltimegirl.com 
I’ve recently heard a lot of great, convicting messages on modesty and I really appreciate this one as well. Thanks for sharing.
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Wow, I just love this post so much sis. Thank you for this, I am planning on buying a bathing suit soon for the summer and this helped me out so much in my decision. I do not feel comfortable wearing a bikini either. I follow you on Instagram and you are a great inspiration too.
Praise the Lord for what He is doing in us women. Blessings girlie! xoxo
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Love this sis! Even from a man’s perspective, I prefer modesty. Women who seek attention usually get the wrong attention, but modesty will always be more godly and attractive.
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Wow, I love how you use the word discreet. It just puts this issue in such a different and uplifting perspective. I’ve always tried to be modest but sometimes it feels like a burden – what a great reminder that it is actually a blessing and brings us honor to dress discreetly.
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Thankyou for being such an inspiration!! Your posts are always full of such honesty and conviction straight from the Bible!
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Beautiful. Simply truth. Thank you for sharing.
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I have always said this and have never, ever worn a bikini and even when I wore a bathing suit, it was always with a shirt over it and shorts on over it. People would call me weird, but I didn’t care, God expects something different from me, modesty and appropriateness in all aspects of my life. It should make us women feel immodest if we are in anything less than what is comfortable for us. I don’t want anyone other than my husband to see portions of my body and most definitely on the beach or at a pool where trouble could be lurking. I also think that men need to be appropriately attired as well. Women may not be as “sight” oriented as men, but it’s still possible for women to see inappropriate things and get excited in a sexual way. Teenagers are most susceptible to this but it can happen at any age and most especially if a man goes out to the beach in a “Speedo” type attire it kind of leaves nothing to the imagination. Not appropriate or modest for men either.
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I definitely agree with you … no1 really talks about what men should be wearing at the beach, or anywhere for that. And a lot of people, both men & women alike, don’t realize that women can still be excited visually, though not as much as men. I find myself very often having to tell my bf to go put on a shirt when he’s at home….not leaving that avenue open.
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Exactly! And I get laughed at when I say that if we have to cover up, so do the guys. It’s seen as a normal thing just to have no shirt on at the beach for them, but modestly definitely goes both ways.
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Agreed! Wish we talked more about modesty regarding both men and women.
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thank you so much for this. i’m definitely going to fix up my dressing
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God bless you so much for this post! Very well stated. He has clothed us all in royalty and bought us with a great price. All things should be done to His glory and with moderation.
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this is great! cant argue with any of this! I really enjoy reading your blog!
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Amazing blog. Its just like a feeling when you walk across desert and you find well with water. Refreshing to the soul.
Some of the lines I would like to highlight. Which is very true,… ” Godly men want a woman who will not cause him to commit adultery with her in his mind. He wants a woman who is “mysterious” and “sacred” and “discreet.” He wants a woman he can “win” with inside of marriage alone ” & ” It is the enemy who wants to strip you, make sport of you, and merchandise everything that is sacred. He wants to take away your God-given worth, strength, honor, and mystery and, instead, shame you in front of the world. ”
Holy Spirit guides a man, if he doesn’t have it then there is every possible chance that he will think bad/do bad. I really appreciate that you have taken time to study man’s mind. If I take myself as a example, I am man definitely interested in a girl, who is Godly, Loving, caring, with self esteem and who respects herself and knows the fact that She belongs to a single man and not to every other man. As Proverbs 11:22 says ” Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion. ”
At the end of the day what GOD sees is, no matter what we do/ plan to do, he is more concerned on the MOTIVE.
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What a great post! I love it! I have four girls ages 10, 8, 5,and 3…so I am always wanting to model modesty. We had our first boy 4 months ago, and I pray that he finds a woman who isgodly too.
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This definitely changed my perspective on what I wear and why I should wear it! Being 15 I would want to fit in and be with the crowd but I’m definitely going to show myself in a way where I’m respecting myself and my body! I’ve never really truly comprehended the meaning of modesty until now and I’m definitely not going to dress to please a guy but dress in a way where Im respecting my body! Thank you so much
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Thank you so much for this! As a girl who used to believe the lie that I had to wear a bikini/immodest clothing to “fit in”, this reminds me of who I am now representing as a Christian, whether it be the way I dress or act. When you talked about God giving someone worth through clothing them, I’m reminded of how I used to feel I could somehow gain worth. I measured my worth throught what others thought of me, how I thought I looked, etc– no wonder I always would feel worthless! When I became a Christian I realized that our worth comes from Christ! I no longer need to somehow “gain” worth from what others think of me, or if I can get attention from how I dress what a relief! 😉
Anyways…before I became a Christian, I never totally understood the concept of modesty. To me, it would sound like something that was old, and certainly not something that I wanted to be (haha was I wrong)! I really love the way you use the word “discreet”, instead of “modesty”.
Thanks for all the encouragement that you provide me through you website! 🙂
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We talked about this at youth group and a lot of the girls agreed that it’s not just what you wear, it’s HOW you wear it. Your attitude, flirting and attracting attention can be just as distracting to guys as what you wear.
We also agreed that we can’t “fault” our brothers for looking at our bodies; what we can do, is be modest and help them from slipping into sin.
Thanks so much, Lauren! 🙂
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I think this is a great video. This is my first visit to the site as well and I think it is awesome. This reinforces the point that the real feminists and progressives are the ones who go against a culture that devalues women. They decide that their identity and worth will be determined by God and how He sees them. We have no greater worth or value than in the eyes of God. We are the apple of His eye.
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Lime Ricki swimwear and DivinitaSole swimwear are two other websites you can shop for modest and cute swimwear. I like that you can mix and match with a swim skirt or boy shorts.
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Thank you so much for sharing this. I was just feeling frustrated because of the way our society rewards immodesty. I definitely don’t get as much attention as a girl who is scantily clad and though I don’t want “that kind” of attention, it is hard to feel less than or passed over simply because I’m trying to follow a narrow path to Jesus! Thank you for affirming the choice to stay discreet despite the accompanying challenges and wait for God’s best.
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Lauren, this is amazing and important. Thank you for your courage in standing for righteousness… and for the strength and godliness of men. I salute you.
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I love this
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Great article…
Someone share this link with me on twitter and I’m glad I clicked on it. The message in this article is so timely for our generation today and I think women of all ages need to read this article. I’m going to share it with my followers as well!
Keep doing God’s work!
Blessings,
Mo
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This post was truly a blessing to know that there are women out there who are still modest. This topic for Christian women is always a touchy subject, and I feel women of God today are dressing like the world. Its like you cant even distinguish a woman of God from a woman of the world and its really sad. Thanks for spreading the message of modesty!
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Perfect
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Really excellent post. I’ve tried talking about modesty with some of my Christian girl friends before who insisted that it didn’t matter, since they were so thin/had such little chests that even wearing a bikini, a guy would have to be nuts to lust after them. They don’t understand that lusting isn’t a choice — it just activates, whether or not you look like a Baywatch model.
Lovely blog. I’m going to follow it! 🙂
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Love this.
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I love this entire article! I’d say that the biggest compliment I have EVER received from my “special guy friend” was that I looked “Mysterious”. I’d rather be called that than beautiful, tons of guys think their girl is beautiful, but how many think she is mysterious? It was so precious! I am so glad I have a guy who desires for me to be modest, even though he likes me, he’ll take the time to tell me if he feels I’m currently dressed in a way that is challenging him, and if the circumstance allows, I am happy to go change so he can focus on ME, and not my body. 🙂
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A post of strength and honor to what God has called us, as women to be. Would you be willing to share some of the resources or places that you shop in terms of finding cute items that fall into the category of modest/discreet? 🙂 Thanks & blessings on your words of wisdom! May they educate young girls and women alike to value the worth that has been placed upon them.
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Your posts are such a blessing and always spot on! This is such a great topic to discuss since it seems that often dress standards go out the window at the pool/beach! A very well written article! Thank you!
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thankyou Dear for sharing.God bless you.
i am learning so much from your blog ❤
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WOW!!!! Love this…honestly, this is exactly what I needed to read right now to remind me of why I shouldn’t wear a bikini.
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Its so ironic how thereare so many things Ican relate to like waiting and trusting God with my desire for marriage inmyearly-late twenties and now I’min the last year of my twenties 29 which can getscary and then I feel challenegd trust God or cave in tothe pressures around me.
Two years ago I went to Cyprus and brought 4-6 bikini’s with me and wore them all, there were moments I noticed men looking and being sigle for literally years I found myself glad I was getting that attention, then I pondered; Becca this isa heart issue and I need to pray about this, I realised that it was wrong due to guidlines on modesty and reserached I actually found one of her videos two weeksafter my holiday so I know God was speaking to me, she mentioned that a man invented the bikini (no suprises there lol), a man working in his aunts lingerie factory ( I always said to mymom that bikini was thesame as bra and pants) and there I was finding out that hisinspiration came from bra’s and pants.
So I to do not laouge and walk around in bikini I wear a cover up over them for times when it is really hot but I mostly wear one pieces, howeverI’m thinking of just wearing one pieces and not caring if I’m the only oneon the beach in one weare suppose to break the mould right?
Love your blog! 🙂
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Ok I am not a Christian but I kinda agree. The bikini culture sucks and how a woman must have ‘bikini body’. This is awfully, it is like you wear the tiniest underwear in front of strangers.
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I really love this post and I understand this was aimed towards young girls and the topic of modesty. But I actually know of a few girls where there is a sort of reverse situation in which they call on guys to be a little more discreet with their clothing too, especially on social media. Some guys like to post the shirtless selfies to display their physique, which can also be a stumbling block to women who are struggling with lustful thoughts as well. I even met a young Godly man who said he refused to be shirtless at the beach so as not to become a distraction for women, which is so thoughtful and usually unheard of. I think there is this myth that men are more sexual than women and that is simply not true. Some women can be just as carnal minded, some girls are the initial provocateur of sexual sin within a relationship. Our minds can be just as sinful and imaginative as our male counterparts. I think it’s important to remember that we’re all human and all capable of committing the same sins; men should be careful of their appearance just as much as women need to.
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I actually think that women who wear less revealing swimsuits look a zillion times more attractive than the ones who wear bikinis in public. I saw a picture online of a girl wearing a pair of shorts and a three-quarter sleeve swim t-shirt. It looked so nice, especially when I mentally compared it to the minuscule swimming costumes worn by celebrities. Quite frankly, I think modest clothes flatter the female body!
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Thank you for this!! This is one of the things that is so backwards in our culture. It seems so backwards to people that we should cover up to attract the kind of partner we want. I think God is a backwards kind of god. I believe that the man every girl wants is not the kind of man who will chase after girls in bikinis or girls who dress immodestly. I believe he is the one that will pursue a real relationship with her. – Rachel Fagan age 21
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Thank God there are women like you to address this topic because if men say these things, they are considered patriarchal and over protective. I don’t like other men staring at the body parts of my woman.
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