Commitment of Convenience

It’s time for a reality check.

You’re a Christian. You LOVE Jesus. You are so committed to Him that you would go to Africa if He called you there. You would preach the gospel in the far corners of the earth. You live to show His love to the world and obey all that He has commanded. You are a CHRISTIAN and you don’t care who knows it.

So why aren’t you dating like it?

It’s easy when you’re single. When all we have to please is God and worry about ourselves, but when we throw a cute guy or girl into the mix we make excuses. “Well, there is no perfect person.” “They can change.” “I’m helping them spiritually.” “After we are married, things will be different.”

No. You’re being a hypocrite. You’re saying one thing- that you’re committed to Jesus through thick and thin- but you’re living a whole different game- one that satisfies YOUR desires, YOUR longings, YOUR loneliness.

Jesus didn’t bring you this far, teach you everything he has taught you, build your faith and fight for your love for you to throw it away and settle for someone who hasn’t chosen the same.

Sometimes we choose people to love and think that if WE love them correctly then everything will work out. We accept behavior that we should never tolerate and tell ourselves that everything is going to work out because WE are doing what is right. We think if we just love them like Jesus does and forgive again, then soon enough their behavior will magically turn to good. However, it’s not enough to know how to love if we simply love the wrong people.

Chances are, YOU are NOT going to change the heart of your current date. The way you get them is the way they will stay, unless GOD gets a hold of their heart. Get this down. You are not the exception; you are the rule, and if you don’t play by God’s rules, you will end up the loser. 

Does your commitment to Christ change with your relationship status?

So many people talk a big game while they are single. They act like they are “waiting for the right one,” but in reality they will jump at any chance they get because they don’t have the self-control or any real commitment to God that is needed to really say “No, you’re not for me.” They’re “committed” to Christ as long as it doesn’t get in the way of an “real” commitment down here on earth. That’s not commitment at all. That’s a commitment of convenience, and it’s all for themselves.

God’s. Ways. Are. Perfect.  (Psalm 18:30)

I’m not just saying this to muster up hope that someday somebody anybody will come and rescue you out of having to keep the faith and trust in God. God is always right, and if you truly are committed to Christ, it will take everything you’ve got for the rest of your life to live for Him, and baby, you had better pick someone who knows how to keep up.

Stop dating like you are free for anyone who will choose you. You’ve got standards in life, and you’ve got standards in dating and I say this with a smile because I KNOW it’s true…. You don’t have to settle. There are men and women wholly devoted to Christ. He has set them apart for one another because He is faithful and He is good and He will get the glory from your amazing God-centered relationship…but only if you value His opinion.

Where is your commitment?

You’ll die for your beliefs? Prove it. LIVE FOR THEM.


  1. This blog is a great, intense sermon on a Sunday morning. I am the loud lady in the back going PREAAACCCCCCHHHH ITTTTTT!!!!!


  2. The last paragraph was what I needed to read. Had been feeling a little left on the shelf, people making me feel like holding out for God’s best is impossible. Thank you for letting me know that it’s not.


  3. True, true! I have always heard that it is easier to drag someone down than it is to pull them up. It is a lie that so many young girls believe, that they can change someone by loving them and get them to come up to their standards.


  4. The best Motivations for Christians! It will be so great and wonderful to have personal
    talk one day!!
    Thank You Lauren!!


  5. Hmmm, this is just a divinely inspired write up, MAy God continue to increase you physically and spiritually


  6. Oh my gosh, this blog is absolutely amazing!!! It’s exactly what so many of us young ladies that are trying our best to live for Christ really need to hear. It’s true we all have standards but I think that the noise of others who are constantly wondering why we continue to hold out and wait on who God has for us sometimes makes us a tad bit weary at times but I thank you for your encouraging words…” and reminding me that “if I say I love God as much as I claim to then I can never lose TRUST that he is doing exactly what needs to be done in my life” and so I’ll continue to wait for the “young man who is wholly devoted to Christ,” as you put it.:)
    I love God with my all and so I value his opinion above all others!!!


  7. Thank you Lord. When I have a question you respond in so many ways and even my unspoken prayers you answer. YOU are to be praised. And your time is always the right time. All glory to GOD. And thank you for Lauren Demoss #thefulltimegirl. Bless her.


  8. Thank you for this open and honest look at singleness! I believe that God is looking for us to change our heart’s perspective on singleness and waiting. He is a good Father and gives perfect gifts so both singleness and marriage are gifts. I think more Christian women need to OWN our singleness and know that God has great plans for our lives – we can be fully committed to His kingdom and delighting in Him during our season of singleness. For some, this season might be longer than others…it could even take up our entire lifetime but we are not alone or forsaken because the Bridegroom is preparing Himself for us.


  9. This was oh so timely. Been feeling like my standards are too high and that there aren’t really men out there wholly devoted to Christ – and thus I’ve been chasing guys who (if I’m truly living for Christ) aren’t worth my time. Lowering my standards to Christian boys as opposed to godly men. Thank you Lauren for this reminder!


  10. I used to be that girl until I dated the last two guys. After being led on and lied to by one guy and still didn’t want to let go, God made it clear that I needed to come to Him. The last two guys I dated, I knew that they weren’t want God wanted for me. I knew that by studying his Word faithfully for over a year. That was my commitment to God, and I was committed to listening to Him. I let them all go, and it was the best feeling ever. Even the guy who led me on tried to come back, and I just wouldn’t do it.

    My advice is to take advantage of the dating time, and date with “God’s eyes” (what He’s instill in you via the Word and intuition). Then, you will see men for who they are. Stop wondering why months have gone by and he hasn’t made anything official. Usually it’s for your own good that he hasn’t and God knows it! GREAT POST!


  11. I absolutely love your complete candor, how straightforward you are. I physically started clapping after reading the last line “You’ll die for your beliefs? Prove it. LIVE FOR THEM.” So many girls today (including ME) need to hear the real Truth on matters like dating, not watered-down “Christian”-labeled advice. Thank you for all that you do, Lauren.


  12. Thanks for this post, I was really struggling over this issue but this revelation put things back into perspective 🙂 God writes my story and I cannot allow the grievances of a hurting lonely heart distract me from the vision he has put in me. In due time, He will set up the perfect relationship for me and I will serve Him while I am waiting. Thanks Lauren……God has ordained your heart to receive so much and I’m so thankful for this post and tis awesome blog!


  13. Wow, I just recently experienced the ending of a relationship where I thought I could change my boyfriend, we made future plans and thought we had found the “one”. After feeling lonely, neglected in a so called committed relationship it ended from his side. It hurts and was not something I wanted to experience but God does not want second best for marriages, he wants HIS best so it can glorify him. That is what I am praying for next time around. I am thankful for your true, wise and encouraging words. It is a blessing!


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