So you broke up. The person you loved took a good look at you and all you had to offer, looked you in the eye, and said, “I’ll try my luck elsewhere.” It has become glaringly clear that this was not the match made in heaven that you once thought it was. For whatever reason whoever they were decided you were not worth it anymore.
What now? Well, here are a couple things you need to know.
1. It hurts.
I know it hurts. It’s gonna hurt… And guess what- That’s ok. It’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to be hurt. You invested your time, your emotions, yourself in that person, and they walked away. You’re gonna cry. Because it mattered. If it didn’t matter, if you were some cold, heartless ice queen, it wouldn’t hurt. But, you aren’t. You are kind and caring and loving and giving and it mattered. You’ll ask yourself every question you can think of, what, why, how come? And the more you talk yourself out of being hurt the more real the pain becomes. Well, I’m telling you that it’s okay. Accept the fact that you care. Accept the fact that this does hurt- it physically and emotionally hurts. Because once you tell yourself its ok to be hurt, you can then help yourself begin to heal.
2. You rock.
You’re anything but confident at the moment, but there are a few things you should know. You are beautiful. You have so much to offer. You have infinite worth. Just because that one person out of 7 billion failed miserably at seeing it doesn’t mean it is not true. You are lovely, my darling, and you have to be brave enough to really believe this. You have people around you that love you. Love them back. Open your eyes and your arms and embrace all that God has given to you. Because one day you are going to look back and embrace this too. This is your journey. This is God directing your path if that is what your heart wants. You deserve to be with someone who digs you. Every little thing about you. If anyone doesn’t dig you, you need to move on. You have an obligation to rock in your life. You must rock..because there is someone out there who is looking for exactly the stuff that you are made of.
3. God has better in store for you.
Cliche, I get it, but the first step in finding something better out there is first believing that there is, in fact, something better out there. God is pretty cool. He made your heart, your mind, your personality. He made it all. I’m pretty sure he can make someone else who digs it. I am pretty sure that the God of the universe can find someone who won’t walk away. Because if this guy was God’s plan, he wouldn’t have passed you by. You trusted God with your salvation, and your life, and hopefully your relationship, and God chose a different path for you. He is in charge and no one else can mess up God’s plan for your life. This broken relationship is not going to be mended by sitting around asking questions forever. You have to leave the pieces on the floor, and move on with your life. Soon, the man of God will walk into your life. You won’t be wondering and guessing about the timing or his feelings. You won’t be waiting around for a phone call. You won’t be ruining your life running in circles trying to figure it all out. You won’t be feeling like ignored or rejected. You will be too busy being adored. He is coming. Wait for it.
Stop checking your ex’s facebook page, or twitter, or instagram. Stop asking all his friends about him. A break up should be just that- a BREAK. Think about your future no-name husband and all his spiritual strength and godly, sweet heart and think, “What are the things that I can do today that he would be proud of?” Pining over a guy who leaves us because he didn’t see your worth-and it’s easy to do, girls- is not something that he would be proud of. I know it’s easier said than done this moving on process, but just think back to your other little heart breaks when you thought, “Wow, I don’t think God can pull me through.” But He did! And He will again. You just have to turn over the broken pieces of your precious heart to His healing Hands. Give it all to Him…. He has is all figured out already.
So that guy was not the one, and you haven’t met the one yet. While you are daydreaming about the wonderful mystery of your future, don’t forget about your purpose. This may come as a surprise but the grand purpose of your life is not just to get married.
You see, I have come to the realization that if I could serve God better and bring Him more glory married, then, I would be married right now at this very moment. So even though sometimes I don’t like to admit it, God knows better than I do. I could try to convince Him otherwise all I want, but He knows the perfect timing for everything in our lives. If we are living to serve Him, then He will take care of it! Right now, you have a job to do. A job that could not be done if you were married. A job that will bring God the MOST glory if you do it now, while you are single.
Figure out what you are supposed to be doing, and get busy doing it!
Get busy working toward things that really matter. Seek the kingdom FIRST, because even marriage is a temporary state that will eventually give way to the beautiful reality of what the picture points to- our relationship with Jesus Christ. He is enough, anyways. No one will truly complete you except Him.
5. Trust God.
Basically, you know what you have to do. Trust your Heavenly Father. You WANT His will. He is going to lead you into it, and He is not going to let you make a decision that isn’t a part of it. He is not going to let you marry someone who doesn’t see you true value- and he obviously doesn’t if he let you go. God is too good for that and He loves us too much.
And He knows. He knows that you long for companionship so badly that it hurts. He knows exactly what you need, and if you let Him and if you love Him, He can work all things together for your good and His glory. Dig into the word and claim every singe promise you find! You have to trust His plan, and know that He is writing a story so magnificent it would make Nicholas Sparks swoon.
Chin up, beautiful. There are brighter days ahead.
Dear beautiful girl,
I know, My daughter, I know. That thing you wanted is not going to happen. Not the way you’ve always dreamed. I know this hurts. I know this stings. I know you feel like I am distant or not aware of where you are and who hurt you and what you think life was supposed to be like. I know this world is hard on you. I know that you are hard on yourself. I know that you struggle to believe that I have created you in the most loving and delicate way possible. You are exactly how I wanted you. Made in My image and designed for My purpose. I know that others in the past have made you doubt that you are worthy of love, but that ends today. I AM your Father, the King of kings, and have given you worth beyond that of the galaxies. I faced death to be with you, and no matter who sees it, no matter who knows, you and I know, you are My princess and you are worth loving. I know in moments like this you doubt that I can count the hairs on your head or have your best in mind. But please, I am not done. I have barely started to reveal your life to you. I am the God who satisfies your desires with good things. That is ME! And when it comes to your hopes and your fears and your dreams, I know.
Love, your Heavenly Father