I have been a mother for a little over 4 months now, so this is not a post about how to do stuff as a parent. The good Lord and my google search history knows I should not be handing out too much advice in that department. However, I have had a few little revelations that no internet search could have fully prepared me for…
1. Don’t become a mother if you aren’t prepared to be selfless.
Wow. Before baby, I had so much time to myself. I could waste so much time doing what I wanted to do. And while I was aware that I would have less time to do the things that I wanted to do, (I was 30, I had done what I wanted to do for a while) I wasn’t fully aware of just how self sacrificing I was going to have to become.
I won’t go into detail but pretty much your whole life is turned on the tiny little axis that is your baby’s schedule, and very little of that time is allotted to just you. I really and truly believe that having a baby is God’s grandest way of letting you know that life isn’t all about you. And you relearn it every day.
2. Don’t become a mother if you aren’t prepared to lose track of time.
Losing track of time isn’t exactly what I mean, although there has been more than once when I have asked my husband what day it is. I told my husband when we brought our baby home from the hospital that there was no day and night anymore only feedings and changing diapers, but that was 4 months ago. Already 4 months. Everyone who stops to see my little girl has to say it, “it goes so fast.” I know… I understand and I don’t. I only try to soak up every moment, even the hard or frustrating or just plain tired ones because I know that they will be gone so so fast. I guess that what makes these moments so very sweet. After all, time passing is what gives life meaning. The specialness of a time cut short or by its own nature short; is really what makes this whole life so special. So, as the world blurs around you, just hold still and tight to your little one because they are right, it goes so fast.
3. Don’t become a mother if you are not prepared to change.
Mama, labor and delivery, holding your newborn, bringing them home and falling in love, it will break you. It will shatter you into a thousand little pieces, and honestly your arms are too full to pick them up and put them all back together just the way they were. They wouldn’t fit back together anyway, and eventually, you will realize that they will heal exactly as they are, and that, from now on, you will be different. Forever changed by your baby’s presence in your life. Forever new. Forever a mother. What a special special title that is, and now you and I know what it means, even if we can’t always put it into words.
4. Don’t become a mother if you aren’t prepared to love and be loved in a way you never knew was possible.
Every smile, every laugh, every cry, you will feel it. You will feel more beautiful in sweats and a t shirt with no makeup and a pony tail slowly sliding to the side of your head than you have ever felt in your entire life. Try not to cry every time they look at you with all the love in their tiny little heart because you know that you are adored and needed and loved like probably no other time in your life, and every bit of pain or sleepless nights or days you don’t get to shower or can’t remember if you brushed your teeth, it’s all so very very worth it.
What have you realized as a new mother? I’m busy soaking up every moment, getting to know my baby, watching her grow, learning how to be her mama. I love and am loved in a way that I never new was possible, and every day I thank God for this amazing gift of motherhood. Also, I am feeling especially thankful for my own mother this year because I realize she did all of this for me. So Happy Mother’s Day to all of us mamas. What we do is so very important and wonderful and hard, and we really are all in it together.