I have not been this nervous to write a blog post in a long time. Where do I start? How do I begin? I guess at the beginning.
The past 3 years I have been writing to you about relationships, and how waiting for the right one was the best decision you could make. Waiting on God’s timing, and waiting for peace, and waiting for real love, and waiting for marriage. There are so many things to wait for, and in our microwave generation, it’s just so hard. I’ve been telling you God’s ways are best, not knowing when or if or how my own story would work out.
About three weeks ago, I married Michael. (No, I don’t have pictures yet; I’m just as anxious as you are to see them tho!!:) I am 29 years old. I waited. We waited. Not as long as maybe some of you, and longer than maybe some of you, but we waited nonetheless, and I shared my journey with you while I did. I trusted that after all that I have poured out from my heart to you, that one day, I would be able to say, “God is right” and “It is worth it.” Well, today is that day, and I am so excited to write this post about waiting, and why we did.
1. We waited for each other.
There were lots of possible people that I could have ended up with for the rest of my life, and there were plenty of people that he could have settled for as well. But God’s grace didn’t allow it. As individuals, we sought to do the will of God and wanted his will for our lives, and God was faithful. None of the others worked out. None of the others brought peace. None of the others were God’s best, and at the time, they may have seemed like the hardest decisions in the world to make, but looking back, they were the most clear, and the easiest. God had this planned all along. Michael and Lauren were meant to be.
I know that some people say, I may have even said that there is no “the one.” God lets you choose, but knowing the path that I have taken to get here, and knowing the path that my husband has taken to get here, I can’t believe that this was not of God. God did this, and I’m glad I waited.
2. We waited for love.
Out of all the things I have waited for in my life, my husband is the greatest. I have said all this before, but he is truly the man of my dreams in so many ways and ways I could not even have known to ask for. He is not perfect by any means, and marriage, I know, is a constant life-long lesson of learning to adapt, and forgive, and think of someone else more often than you think of yourself; however, knowing that he is all-in, willing to work, and give, and sacrifice, and support, and learn with me is the best feeling in the world.
There are so many different definitions for love out there, and so many differing imaginings of what is actually feels like, but the thing is, when its real, it’s all of them and not any of them at the same time. My husband is my best friend, and my lover, and my secret keeper, and my picture hanger, and my adventure partner, and my hand holder, and my dinner experimenter, and my trust earner, and my lawn mower, and my heart guarder, and my midnight snorer…… He’s all the big things and all the little things and all the exciting things and all the boring things and all the best things. He’s all the things I waited for and all the things I didn’t know I needed. He’s God’s very best for me. I’m glad I waited for him.
3. We waited for marriage.
I’ve gone back and forth in my heart and mind about this part of the post, and asked God to help me write what He wants me to write. I see so many articles floating around, things basically like, “I didn’t wait to have sex and nothing happened” or worse, “I waited to have sex and I wished I hadn’t.” Those articles make my heart break. They made my heart break before because I trusted God that His way was best, and to hear those things was downright discouraging. It was discouraging to me to hear because it made me think that God was making a bigger deal of this sex thing than it actually was.
Now, I’m on the other side of marriage, and I want you to know….. from me, as your friend, or your big sister, or your little sister, whatever I am to you….. I care about you so much, and I want you to do life God’s way. I want you to know that God is not a drama queen. Sex is a big deal, and it is an even bigger deal to me now than it was when I was single. I didn’t know how special it was, and how it binds you to the person you share it with. I just can’t express how thankful I am that I share this experience with my husband, and no one else. He has shared it with me, and no one else. It didn’t come with guilt or shame. It didn’t come with scary thoughts that someone might find out or that I would become pregnant as a single woman. It didn’t come as a blow to my self-worth that I was just another conquest to a man who just wanted me for a while, and not forever. All these things that I have seen happen around me. My experience was different, because God told me what to do and I did it. He told me to wait, and I waited. I did it God’s way, and I am forever grateful to God and his grace that I did.
I don’t know what you’ve heard in your life. I don’t know who has shared their stories with you. I don’t know what you’ve learned or who you have has as a role model of how it should be done, but none of that matters. My word and my story doesn’t even matter. Only God’s. God’s ways are always right, and best, and perfect. And in this area too. He’s not wrong or outdated or misinformed. He knows what he is talking about and loves us enough to tell us right from wrong. We only have to choose it for ourselves.
“I’m glad I waited for you.”
That’s what Michael said to me on our wedding night, and in that moment, more than any other moment, every day that I had lived trusting God that He was right and his ways were perfect, every day that I chose for myself to do right no matter what, every day that I chose to wait no matter how I felt or what I doubted…. it was all worth it. It was worth the wait, guys. And I was able to turn to my true love, that God has given me, and smile and say, “I’m glad I waited for you, too” because God’s ways are perfect.