It's just as hard to be Ken as it is to be Barbie

Juan Pablo. Ooo my isn’t he dreamy?? Thick accent. Amazing body. If only….

Why is this acceptable for us girls to say, or tweet, or even think? If a Christian guy said that out loud about some random Hollywood sleezebag, he would be crucified with utmost passion by every Christian girl {and then some} within earshot.

And what would we say to this ungodly scum-of-the-earth? How could you? Don’t you know that is lust? You’re committing adultery in your heart? How do you think the rest of us feel? They are not real people! They are as fake as their spray tans!… or something along those lines. We would! We would think, “Well, how horrible… that’s not the type of man I want to be with.”

That’s not fair. It’s actually a very UNfair double standard. There are lots of average guys out there. Average guys who are good men. Their worth lies inside of them, in their hearts, and in Christ. You may not know this, but in this perfect, photoshopped world of Juan Pablo’s and drooling women, these men have feelings too! They feel the pressure to have a perfect physique, strong cut jaw lines, amazing hair, take girls on fantastical dates in helicopters around france…. all the things that we struggle with.

If you want something fake, buy a doll… because it is just as hard to be Ken as it is to be Barbie.

See, the world is fair across the board setting up an impossible standard for both men and women. It is we who are not fair in our dealings with it. While we are condemning the media and men for expecting women to be perfect, how many girls are waiting on the “perfect” man, and, in doing so, turning down many average guys who could make them perfectly happy? How many times do we snub our noses at a man who doesn’t look like they walked right off the red carpet?

I’ve discussed the issue of lust in women in the post “Is #mcm really ok?” And many of the points apply here too. I’m not saying it’s wrong to be attracted to someone. God made everyone that way. Everyone has a silly celebrity crush, a character in a book or movie that they may be a fan of or be harmlessly attracted to, but characters in a movie or book or even celebrities are just as fictional as the girls on the cover of the magazines. Every one of them is scripted, cropped, painted, photoshopped, and shown in the very best light.

Just like when we think or say, “Those aren’t real girls….” These guys on television, on the bachelor, all over the internet, they aren’t real either, and to SAY you want a man of God and publicly feast your eyes on the flesh of the men of the world is just wrong. Go on and watch your show, girls, but just remember that’s not what real life or love is like at all.

We scream, “Where are the good men?” And praise the bad. Well, bottom line is you get what you praise. We want Christian men so badly to stand and proclaim that the true beauty we all should be chasing after is in the HEART. So WHY is it any different for Christian women? That’s not fair.

I’m not saying all men feel this way, because many men most likely couldn’t care less most of the time, but I know it does affect them, and it should affect us. Girls, let’s be fair. Let’s rise above expectations and meet our own standards on this. Let’s make a pact with one another to keep each other accountable with this double standard. Let’s keep our minds pure. Let’s have respect for the men around us by honoring them with the way we speak about men in general. Let’s always keep our focus on the things of God, not the things of the world. Let’s always strive to bring glory to our God with the way we speak, publicly and privately.

Finally, if we want real, strong men, let’s build them up by the way we live!



  1. I am a girl, but I appreciate how when you write posts about things, you always look at it from both perspectives! For example, sometimes you let guys give their perspective on a particular situation. Also, you don’t just take the side of the girls every time! Thanks!


  2. I am a guy and you have no idea how true this is. I’m confident enough in myself and my relationship that these things don’t bother me – but i wasn’t always this way. Girls (even while you are dating them) will say “Yeah when he took his shirt off in that movie? Yeah he looked preeeetty nice.”
    Men, you have to realize that she simply isn’t putting a filter on her mouth. Have some thick skin and realize that her brief ‘feelings’ about some guy don’t actually mean anything
    But on the flip side, while it may be harder to change than simply dealing with it, women, it’s all up to you. Most guys will not feel like they can trust you and pour themselves into a relationship when you consistently appear shallow and uncommitted. A committed woman won’t bring up her middle-school-crush-like attractions to other men. If I wen’t up to my girlfriend and said “Did you see Megan Fox on that show? Dang……she looked hot.”. She would NOT be a happy camper. but. . . . . isn’t that what you say to us?
    I hope this insight helps someone and thanks for all your great posts!


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