"I'll wait."

I’ll admit, I get discouraged sometimes, but I wait. Sometimes I wonder if waiting is really what I should be doing, but I wait. People tell me that I should just get married- that it’s the right thing to do, but I wait. People tell me my high standards will keep me single for a long time, but I wait. And that’s what I tell them: “I’ll wait.” Because it’s my life, and I’m quite happy with it the way it is right now. I’ll wait because if I wanted to settle for less than God’s perfect plan, I would have been married a long time ago. I’ll wait because God knows what He is doing. I’ll wait because I know that my worst and loneliest day as a single person is better than my best day married to the wrong man. I’ll wait because settling is not an option. I’ll wait because I deserve to wait- I deserve to not settle. I’ll wait because I’m not incomplete or unfulfilled or serving some sort of punishment for my lack of obedience or perfection in God’s eyes.

People say if you’re “waiting,” you’re just being too picky. It sure seems easy for married people to say this to single people. To them I say, I understand it’s not about finding a perfect person. If that were the case, I’d be single forever- not because I wouldn’t be able to find a perfect person but because I’m NOT a perfect person. I’m flawed, and I hope I don’t find someone who is perfect because they would never be able to put up with me.

I know it’s not about perfection. That’s not what I’m waiting for. I’ll wait for a man that wants to do right in the sight of God. I’ll wait for a man who I trust with my heart and my life. I’ll wait for a man I am proud to stand by. I’ll wait for a man I would go to the ends of the earth with if he felt it were God’s will. I’ll wait for a man who makes me happy not because of anything he could give me or do for me, but simply because of who he is. I’ll wait for a man who can accept my utter imperfection and will love me anyway as I will love him in spite of his. I’ll wait for a man that loves Jesus, that I can look up to, and that I can wake up to for the rest of my life. Anyone who is in love will tell you it exists. It is just not too much to ask for, and I will wait for it.

I want to share with you a conversation I had with a older gentleman in my church tonight. He asked me, as he often does, if I had a boyfriend yet. I told him I didn’t, and he told me something tonight that I needed to hear. I even had to bite my lip while he was speaking to keep from bursting into tears. He told me:

“I can’t imagine living 50 years without my wife. If I hadn’t found her or married someone else… it’s just unfathomable to me. You are a priceless gem, and you are doing the right thing. Being single is far better than being in a relationship with the wrong person. You remember this.. That every time you go home from a lousy date, and come home and say ‘He’s not the one. I’ll wait for the person God has for me,” I applaud you. I stand and applaud you because I know that you are going to find someone amazing. In God’s time, he will come.”

I want to encourage you tonight, if you’re waiting on God, you’re doing the right thing. God works in the most miraculous and wonderful ways. And as long as you are doing his will and walking in obedience, he will take care of you. You are not being too picky. You’re not “waiting on perfection.” You’re not superior or entitled. You’re not unworthy, unlovable, too imperfect, disobedient…. or any other thing that this world may tell you that you are. No one gets to write your story but you and God. No one else gets a say in your timeline but its Author. No one gets to tell you not to wait because you have chosen to do right and to wait for a life partner to do right with… And I applaud you.

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37 comments

  1. I was one who waited. I endured all of the “why isn’t a nice girl like you married?” comments. Quite often I fell prey to the “what’s wrong with me?” thoughts. I met my beloved husband and have been married to this man, flawed as we both are, for 28 years. I was glad that I waited until both of us were prepared for each other. One of my favorite phrases was ” God gives the best to those who leave the choice with Him”. It took me through some very lonely days. Rest in His hands. Pray for the one who He will bring into your life. Both must be just right before they are right for each other.

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  2. Wow. thank you so so so much for sharing that. I have been thinking lately that maybe i should have stayed with my last boyfriend because I will never find someone who live up to my standards anyway and I’ll be single forever. But then I realized that I need someone who is going to lead me and he wasn’t the one. thank you for your encouragement. i needed it.

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  3. Your posts never fail to lift my spirits. Thank you, Lauren. I hope to -one day- be as big of a role model as you are to hundreds of young ladies!

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  4. Thank you for this, Lauren, and thank you for waiting. I was in a hurry and made a poor choice, resulting in a tough marriage that eventually ended with the spouse’s affair. Lonely as a single is not easy. Lonely while married is a tragic thing. God heals over time and is able to redeem even our poor choices. But, better to have made a wise one and avoided much heartache. Thanks for seeking to live as a biblically-wise young woman. I pray God will give you wisdom in your choices and an ever-growing heart for Him.

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  5. Great post!! I’ll admit I don’t usually read all your posts since they are more for girls but this one I read and it really spoke to me and encouraged me! Thanks 🙂

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  6. “You shall know a tree,by its FRUIT” The replys to your posts consistently bear record
    of the FRUIT you bear,in a generation where a womens worth is only based on what can be gotten from her.
    God called a young 6’3″girl to be a missionary,He told her that she would have a husband to fulfill her calling w/her.Yrs went by as she prepared for the mission field,no husband. She resolved that she must have missed God about that fact, as she borded the plane for Africa.She told God that she would trust HIm& asked Him for strength. When she landed the missionary that was there to meet was a 6’4″ man ,whom she married shortly after her arrival..
    “The steps of good women are ordered by the Lord” I agree with the older gent. from your church.”YOU ARE a precious GEM” & it takes yrs to prepare someone to be a Jewler. To understand its value,to see the imperfections & lovingly chip them away
    to bring out the perfect jewel..
    Bless you(ALOT)

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  7. Thank you. Thank you. I needed to read this. I am single and this is something that I know the Lord wants me to do, even though its so hard at times – to wait for the one He has for me and trust Him on it. He will NEVER put those who trust Him to shame.

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  8. Thank you so much Lauren for your honesty and being willing to be used by the Lord. Your blog is such a blessing and this post spoke directly to my heart as I too am waiting for the Lord’s best. God is with us in every moment including those lonely nights. I pray that you have a blessed week!

    Lauren

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  9. Thank you Lauren for being such a wonderful vessel in the Lord’s hands. Your life is a testimony to others and an encouragement to know we are not alone. I so needed to hear these words tonight and I thank you for being bold enough to share them…God bless you!

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  10. Thank you so much! I am single and it gets really tough hearing comments about me not dating or basically holding my standards to high. I know it’s worth it in the end! 🙂 I hope that someday I will be able to speak to women and girls like you are here. Being single shouldn’t be a trial it should be a time for us to be singular.

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  11. Great post! I think we might be on the same wavelength because this is EXACTLY my next post for my blog, plus another one. I have been wanting someone to have the exact same words as I have.

    It’s good to see another girl waiting for everything that she wants. I have waited for a while and I have gotten aggravated by people constantly asking, “When are you getting married?” I’m not just gonna go out there and chose the first guy I walk by. If that was the case, I would have chosen my friend from Pre-K or even Tim Tebow because he is Christian. But, no. I chose to wait on God.

    I have a list, but it’s not like the list some girls have. My list consists of being a Christian, kind, passionate, servant’s heart, worshipper and a giver. So, yeah. I’ll wait. It’s okay to still be single in my 20s. It’s okay to be single as long as I worship My God. It’s okayto be single as long as I’m happy and waiting. Round of applause for you Lauren! Thanks for this.

    xoxo

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  12. What a beautiful post! … and VERY true. I wanted to let you and Hannah Elizabeth above, that it really is true. I fell in love in high school and married very young. Three children and eighteen years later I was divorced. It hurt beyond description. “Divorce” was never part of my vocabulary, but my husband, though raised in church, admitted he didn’t have a personal relationship with the Lord. Though the pain was as if half of me was torn away, the worse pain was knowing how it was affecting my children!
    PLEASE do NOT settle! Praise the Lord he is faithful and true. I was never more close to him than when I became a single mother. I waited, and waited. The children grew up and left home. Still, I waited. After being single for 13 years I met a wonderful man. He is what I needed. He is what the Lord prepared for me.
    Be happy in your singleness, be open to possibilities. Make room in your life for a husband. (Clear out half the closet and medicine cabinet, etc.) Just don’t settle!
    I’ve always said I would do anything for a man who loved me like Jesus loved the church. You’ll see. It IS worth waiting for the right man!
    Be blessed ~

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  13. Thank you for posting this. I watch friends of mine, my age and younger, getting married and having children…and then there’s me. Ive been told several times that I’m too picky and my standards for a man of God are ridiculous. I was dating a guy a couple years back and God spoke to me and told me to end the relationship. It was unbelievebly hard but I was obediant. He is now married and sometimes I feel like I got the short end of the stick. But I have to rest in knowing God has perfect timing and he has the very best for me. God has me where He wants me and therefore i’ll wait.

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  14. God is so faithful to speak to us what we need to hear. About a year ago I resolved to wait for my man of God. With hope in my eyes, I went about daily life content. But as time passed on, I forgot the difference between a man of God and a “Christian guy”… Everything you wrote was perfect… Thank you for reminding me, and thank you for letting God speak through you. This means the world to me, literally brought tears to my eyes :’) Now I remember why I’m doing what I’m doing, and I can’t wait to keep waiting. ❤

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  15. Thank you for writing about this, and for sharing the wise words from that lovely gentleman. Nearly 7 years ago, God asked me to Trust him, and Wait. I am now in my 40s. It hasn’t always been easy, particularly in the last year or so, but I continue to wait because I want what He has planned for me, and I want to stick around to find out how He will make it happen! God’s plan, God’s man, in God’s timing. Amen.

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  16. Now this is awesome! Totally love it!
    I gotta tell you. I’m 17 and never had a boyfriend. All these girls and boys in school, and even at church, are rapped up with always having a boyfriend/girlfriend. The minute they break up with them, they find another one. I believe, when you are going to marry someone, God will show you both, at the perfect time, that you are meant to be. In my opinion, (take it for what its worth) why waste your time, and get hurt dating someone that your not even going to marry. I know everyone has their own opinion on this, but this is just mine. God will show you, he will let you know who that perfect person is. And he will let you know at just the right time. I know where my heart is. I’m going to wait, because I’m worth it.

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  17. I love your post. Love it. Simply deciding “I’ll wait” frees you up to wait for God’s best for you. I am 45 and view my life so far as being protected by God – protected from marrying the wrong man for me. I trust that God’s plan for me is greater than anything I could plan or make happen on my own.

    Many of the guys I have dated have gone on to marry the next girl they dated, which I don’t think is a coincidence as I would pray daily for them – for maturity and blessings over their relationships, careers, finances, relationship with God. And each time, it’s been amiable breakups as the guys meet and marry someone else. I’m okay with that. How could i not?

    I hope my day will come but if not, I have to trust in God’s plan. (easy to say now because I’m not in a “poor me, alone and wish someone was here” moment)

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  18. Wow the last part about the older man when he asked you often about having a boyfriend yet, was the same thing a dear older man in my church ask me all the time before he passed away…thank you for writing this blog…

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  19. That was so sweet what that older gentleman told you! I honestly do get tired of people asking “So, you don’t have a boyfriend yet?” and then, when you tell them “not yet”, they look at you all weird. They think that waiting is giving up or not caring enough to go out there and find someone yourself. However, I know that it will be worth all the waiting when I find the right guy!

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  20. What a beautifully written post. Before I met my husband I remember feeling as though I would never find “the one” and it seemed like he took so long to come into my life. Now looking back we were so young having met at 23. Once you meet the right person you forget all the time you spent without them and you look forward to all the years you will spend with them. The best things in life are the things worth waiting for.

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  21. THIS!!!! I love everything about it. I did not wait, despite God showing me clearly that he was not the one, and I married him anyway. Discontentment breeds disobedience and I was too ready to be married. Being married puffed up my ego. I felt like by being married, I was saying “see, somebody DOES want me!” But oh disobedience comes with a price. I am now divorced and raising a son alone.

    But you know what? I’m sooooooooo grateful that God allowed me to go through all of that. I have NEVER been closer to Christ than I am now (and continue to get). Do I wish I had waited? Sure. But truth be told I’d go through it all again if that’s what it took for me to have a real relationship with Christ (and my little kiddo too :-)) But best believe, “I’ll wait” is certainly what I’ll be doing. God’s best is always the best. Thanks for sharing! 🙂

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  22. I thank God for you.You’ve been an inspiration to my life, I dont know where i’d be without the encouraging messages I get from you. I urge you to continue doing the same, you inspire many all over the world.I’m from Nairobi, Kenya, and I hope to one day be an inspiration to others like you are. God bless you

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  23. I love this. There are no words to describe just how much I love this.

    My favorite quote from here is: “I’ll wait because I know that my worst and loneliest day as a single person is better than my best day married to the wrong man.”

    I have this saved to my bookmarks, and I go back to this anytime the loneliness sets in. Anytime the “I’m going to be alone forever, I totally could have continued to date that guy. He actually LIKED me.” thoughts swirl around my head. Anytime the insecurities kick in, and Satan worms his way into my thoughts, telling me I’m worthless, and no man will ever love me. Anytime I crush on a guy, and it turns out he has a girlfriend, and I throw myself a pity party.

    With Valentine’s day coming up, and a brother who’ll be getting married in almost exactly a month, it’s so easy to fall into the cycle of self doubt, and insecurities.

    God has given me the desire to be married and have a family. He is not mean, He is not cruel in giving me a desire (a desire from the absolute bottom of my heart), only to rip it out of my hands and laugh. He WILL deliver, I’ve just gotta be patient and wait on Him.

    After all, His timing is the best timing, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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  24. This post it’s so amazing, it really brought me into tears. I needed to hear these words, and it reminds me that God’s plans never fail, and everything it’s beautiful in his time.

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