Ladies, you want a big, strong, great man?

I know I talk about modesty a lot. I do that because I want girls to see their worth is in their hearts instead of in their bodies. They don’t have to catch a man showing off parts of their bodies that are for their husbands eyes only. This is not because your body is bad or those parts of your body are bad. They aren’t at all. They are beautiful and sacred and special and when they are covered, it keeps them that way. The most precious of jewels aren’t for everyday wear. They aren’t even for everyone. Only the one who pays the highest price gets to own them, and even then, they are taken care of and prized and set apart. This is what your body is. It is only meant for your husband to see and treasure….

However, I never want my message to be confused with saying that we need to keep our bodies covered because men can not control themselves. They most certainly can. In this crazy sex-obsessed world, there are actually men who keep their minds clean and pure. [everyone put on your shocked faces] In all reality, God says it can be done, and it can.

To say or think or promote the idea that men can not control themselves is insulting and demeaning and destructive.

First, it is insulting to men. I am not a man, but I bet if someone was constantly saying that I, as a respectable human being, had animalistic tendencies and urges that just could not be fought, I would be slightly offended every now and then. Men are strong and brave and capable. Believe that, and stop letting the world make our men into children- or worse, animals.

Secondly, it is insulting to God. This applies to every area. Not just in the area of modesty. When God made man and woman, he actually set MAN up to be the head of the household. What in the world was He thinking? He obviously doesn’t understand that men can’t even control their own urges let alone control a home, a church, or community. Umm, I think God knew what He was doing. He actually gave us an entire book of great examples of what a strong man could be when yielded completely to Him. He gave us Moses and Joshua and King David and the Apostle Paul… And so many other strong brave [yet imperfect] men. Have we forgotten that all men can live up to what God expects of them? God didn’t. He believes in them…. and He knows what He is doing.

Lastly, it is destructive. When we have this attitude of “men can’t control themselves so we have to dress modestly and treat them like children and constantly beat them over the head with what they are supplied to be doing or what they are doing wrong,” well, we destroy everything God has made them to be. Of course, they are going to sit back and think… “Well I can’t control myself anyway. I am just like an animal. It’s their fault for not protecting me or dressing that way or not reminding me enough how to be a man. I might as well…..” Come on.

We need a generation of men. So how are we going to see this happen? We need to remind them of who they were meant to be. Men of honor, and courage, and purity, and bravery, and strength, and love. We need to see in them everything we believe GREAT men to be.

You want a big, strong, great man? Build them up. Tearing them down will only get you a small, weak, destroyed man.

I’m not saying throw off all your responsibility because they can handle it from here. I’m saying… Let’s turn it around. Trust the men in your life with being who they were called to be. Do YOUR part to build them up and encourage them. Draw out the greatness with words of encouragement and affirmation. Stop expecting so little of such great men. They can do it. Believe in them… expect and allow them to be MEN.


  1. I am so grateful for this post. Thankfully, and by God’s grace alone, my brother and a really close friend of mine are men who keep their minds clean and pure. I am so thankful for God’s grace.


  2. As a guy, I really appreciate this. It’s difficult to step into the world every day and not only have it preach to us that our “animalistic tendencies” are definitive and should be embraced, but then subsequently spins around to condemn us just for having those tendencies in the first place.


  3. I wanted to let you know that I am so glad you posted this today. While we tend to get lumped together there are some of us who strive to be Christ like. Guys reading this, every time a girl looks past you because you have high standards for her and yourself just remember, more than likely that was not a relationship God had planned for you. Like my grandpa used to say “don’t date who you couldn’t see yourself marrying”


    • I absolutely love what you said about sticking to your standards even if the girl refuses. I’m a girl and I use to think girls appreciated guys that held them to high standards of purity but I for sure thought wrong. It is always a joy in my heart to see young men who choose daily to keep themselves pure and honor Christ, not only in the public’a eye but also when no one is watching. God bless you.


  4. I have NEVER written a comment before, but for this post I just had to. Thank you so much for bringing this up! Your blog is really great, super inspirational 🙂


  5. Wow, that was so on point. Thank you for this sister. I agree on so many levels with the many facets of how you broke down modesty, from both angles. I get frustrated sometimes with women who seem to berate men when they “struggle with wandering eyes”, not realizing that, while we are built to be visual creatures, its always better to encourage them! I’d really love it if I was struggling with that, or when I was as a younger male, that sisters of mine would encourage me/support me in believing that I could conquer this “animal instinct”. By the grace of God, I am under control, but it would’ve made those adolescent years less of a mine field lol.


  6. Very refreshing; wisdom always is, especially in this age. I echo the thoughts of Nomad, our culture’s message that ‘guys can’t help themselves’ gets more believable every time I hear it, and my sinful nature wants to give in. As a man, I thank you for the encouragement to hold firm and let God be true though every man is a liar.
    You have a new fan 😀


  7. Another fabulous post, Lauren!
    Love this: “To say or think or promote the idea that men can not control themselves is insulting and demeaning and destructive.”

    Thanks for saying that!


  8. I refuse to believe that men can’t control themselves. Modesty is a way of helping them have virtuous thoughts, and I also believe that men dressing modestly helps women to have virtuous thoughts.


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