"Godly Men" #RealTalk

“Actions speak louder than words” Hmm… but do they?

Girls, we are so easily fooled. I mean, admit it. We want a godly guy so badly that we will ignore all the signs of ungodliness right up until God has to smack us upside the head with it in order to see that a guy is no good. Then we cry about it saying, “But he seemed like such a good guy! Why does this always happen to me?”

Well, I’ll tell you why. We IGNORE the red flags.

We do. All the time. You know it’s true.

I am going to tell you one thing about godly men– you know what they want? Godly women. So you are a godly woman? That is great! But that doesn’t mean that only godly men are gonna try to get your attention. That’s just not the way it works. So.. in order to find out if this guy is really a good guy or if he just plays one at church or on the internet, you gotta be smart.

Godly men want godly women, and they protect themselves from ungodly women. So who do they follow on twitter? Who does he follow on instagram? Other godly women? Or girls looking to bait men with their half-naked and provocative pictures and drag them down? Get real. Any man who is following girls who post worldly, lustful pictures of themselves, {I don’t care if they are “Christian” girls or not} does not care about his purity. They know this! Don’t get confused or let them trick you into thinking they are blind or dumb to the fact that there is a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition on their Instagram time line every day. I have a friend that recently got saved, and what did he do not even a month later? Stopped following people on social media that would bring him down and cause him to sin. You think these “Christian” men who are supposed to be godly don’t know that this is wrong??

Let me say this again….if you don’t know how the male mind works, I will give you a quick lesson. This is true, ladies. Please understand this. A man is sexually “turned on” by the sight of a woman’s body. What it is like for a man to look at an immodestly dressed girl is like when a cute guy that you really really like came and put his arms around your waist. You would like that…. well, it is the same for a guy, but they can take it even further in their minds. God gave them an incredible imagination when it comes to a woman’s body and sex. And if that guy does not have the holy spirit inside of him and if he doesn’t long to do the right thing, he will commit adultery in his mind. Period. Now, this ability is not necessarily a evil, bad thing. That is how God created men. He did that so that they would be the pursuers in relationships– so that they would be driven to go out and find a girl and marry her and fulfill those desires within marriage and raise godly families. Sin has just corrupted God’s plan, and the world today has waged war on the minds of these men.

Who are these men pursuing? Who are they talking to? What kind of girls {or even guys} do they hang out with and call their friends? Are they godly people? Or are they half-hearted Christians who really don’t challenge or support one another in pursuing Christ. You become who you hang out with. You are friends with people like yourself. It is true and these are all things that we need to be paying attention to.

Purity in our generation is so LOST, and, yes, girls are putting it all out there for men to see, and men are just sitting back and taking it in saying, “Well these girls are Christians. They post good things too. I don’t notice it. I struggle with it.” It’s a bunch of garbage. They know it’s wrong and they do it anyway because- lightbulb- they are not as godly as they’d like everyone to think because godly men want godly women. Period. If they are chasing ungodly women, there is something WRONG.

We need to turn DOWN what they say and turn UP what they do. Jesus has called us all to a higher standard.

Men of integrity want women of integrity. Let’s stop wasting our time on these men who are chasing the opposite! Baby, you just don’t have time for this. Just because you are godly doesn’t mean that’s why he is interested in talking to you. Don’t let a man chase you AND chase a bunch of other girls that are everything you are NOT and everything you stand against. That is a red flag that says, “Hey girl, I’m not interested in your heart! Just your pretty face..”

Let his actions speak for him. Let’s not allow them to get away with taking in half naked images of other men’s wives, and still let them tell us how beautiful we are- and how godly they are. Let’s take into account his ungodly friends and consider that maybe they are more telling than they seem. Let’s start calling out these “neat christian boys.” Let’s start paying attention, and stop ignoring the red flags.

I understand that this issue is not ALL there is to being a godly man, and just because someone else may do all the right things doesn’t mean that they are a man of integrity either. There are lots of other factors to consider and I have written plenty about them, but this is something that just is so clear in scripture and we all seem to ignore it as if it is normal or fine. It is not, and don’t let anyone tell you that it is not a serious, serious problem.

Men are not made for this. They are made to be strong and courageous protectors of our homes and families. They are made for greatness, and there ARE men who stand for purity and godliness-who do strive to be all that they are meant to be. They are out there, and any man can choose at any time that he is not going to settle for mediocrity. He can choose to rise above just what the men and women around him expect of him and choose to meet his King’s expectations. We have got to stop settling for less, and start encouraging purity in this generation. We have to cry out for God to help us…

Because, girls and guys, only then will we truly get the godly relationships, marriages, churches and homes that our souls really long for.

“Can I say something to young ladies here? I ‘m trying to pick my words carefully here. Your husband, whoever he is, single ladies, will have an unbelievable amount of influence over your sons and daughters in regards to spiritual things. If you want your children to love Jesus deeply, hold out for a man that is Godly. And let me tell you this: I am well aware that Godly men are rare. Lots of neat Christian boys, not a lot of Godly men. And we’re working our tails off for you to try to develop someone into that. But don’t settle, because it’s better that you be lonely now than you be married and lonely later. Are you tracking with me? It is better that you be lonely now than for you to get married to and that will teach your kids everything but the way of Jesus” -Matt Chandler

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36 comments

  1. I LOVE this post! You are 100% correct. I unfortunately found this out the hard way. I found a guy that I believed was a good Christian man: involved in church, had Godly conversations, and so on. But when it came to his actions, he flirted with other girls, looked at porn, and pressured me into having sex. His response to my objections of those with “God knows and expects us to sin, we just need to be sure to ask forgiveness.” Because I wanted to be with him so badly, I allowed that lie to slip and believed the other lies that the world told me (ALL guys look at porn and EVERYONE has premarital sex).
    I found out I was pregnant 6 months after we started dating, and I was sure when I told him we would get married. He left me 2 weeks after I found out, and that was the last time I saw him. I have been blessed with an amazing, beautiful 5 month old son, but it was and still is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with.
    My hope is that other women can learn from my mistake of believing what they say and ignoring what their actions say about them, and that they can take words of wisdom like these in this blog to heart!

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    • Wow! thank you so much for sharing your story. It is sadly the story of so many young girls… wanting love so badly and settling for this world’s view of love instead of God’s. Thank you for your bravery and I’m so thankful God has created beauty from so much hardship in your life. God bless, sis! xoxo

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    • I have a similar testimony as well the guy that I thought was a godly man I’ve know since I was about 7 or 8 years old we actually grow up in church together and meet back up in our adult years in church. Thing he was godly because he attended church every time the doors was opened and also was the church musician we developed a relationship but like u he persuaded me to have sex and to start back doing thing that I once denounced. I come to find out alot about he person that I thought I know that he was the kind of guy that would go to different churches and prey on the women. Come to find out that I was not the only one that he was having a sexually relationship at my church amongst other things I found out. I became pregnant and like you he wanted nothing to do with my son it was either keep my son or lost him or get rid of my son and keep him. And of course I chose my son. He completely stopped communicating with me about 2 or 3 months into my pregnancy. I was bless with a baby boy who is now 3 months old. So u have to be very careful so glad that this article is shading light on things u wish I knew before I started a relationship with that individual but to God be the glory.

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  2. Great post. I had someone tell me the other day about a guy we both know who is talking to a girl. She “goes on mission trips all the time” and at 23 is “still a virgin.” I know him well enough to know that this makes her desirable; I also know he almost certainly has no aim to ultimately respect her desire to remain pure. Ladies, there are “good Christian guys” who would love nothing more than to conquer your purity!!! I wish I knew her and could borrow her ear just for a minute to say WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!! Yes we are called to win the world. Please ladies consider though that we don’t have to date the world to do that! My heart has been heavy for her ever since.

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  3. Good article, from my experience most men think they are being Godly, but are raised more on religion than Godliness and dont know how to really become Godly because they are comfortable where they are with their God, like an ocean, they never get past the breakers to experience the full depth of the sea (God)

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  4. This is so true. Sometimes we settle for any guy who says they believe in God and think that’s enough. A lot of girls though also say they are “Christian” and put half their bodies out on Instagram. And then any other guy says “well she’s doing this AND she’s Christian.” I understand a lot of us think there aren’t any godly men out there with morals and respect. But I am 20 and have NEVER had a boyfriend and maybe I never will and maybe I will in the future but I am waiting because I was so close of committing a mistake of dating a super ungodly man! Don’t settle for less! Keep your priorities up!

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    • Thankyou so much 🙂 I have never had a boyfriend either (I’m 17) and sometimes I tend to feel a bit left out from all the people that are in relationships but I’m blessed with a lot of single friends and I’m sure God also has a great plan for those who wait in His Word

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  5. Love this post! You said that “godly men want godly women,” and that we often chase men who are not godly. Wouldn’t it be the same for women? That godly women want godly men? If we’re chasing men who are ungodly, then we’re obviously not as godly as we thought. We can’t say were godly women and then pursue ungodly men.

    I completely agree that we choose to ignore all the red flags, women and men both.

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  6. This is a great article Lauren!

    I love how instead of man-bashing as most women would do, you provided a perspective on what a Godly man truly is and what they want. Me being a godly man, I agree with everything you stated. But even before I got saved, I’ve always felt that if women would keep their standards high in regards to men, then us men would be forced to rise up to the occasion. And I still feel this way. Although there are so many beautiful women in the world to choose from, I’d prefer a godly women any day because we can help each other reach our destiny. But an un-saved women can’t help me do that, neither can a lukewarm (christian) woman. Only a godly women can fit into the life of a Godly men. Like you said “Men of integrity want women of integrity” and “any man can choose at any time that he is not going to settle for mediocrity.”

    This was a great read. I always love your insight and perspective. You’re a gifted writer!

    Blessings,
    Mo

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    • I absolutely agree with what you are saying Maurice; I also am searching for a godly woman, and I will not settle for less. Just to put a different perspective on what you said, “…..if women would keep their standards high in regards to men, then us men would be forced to rise up to the occasion.” I agree with this, but the one problem is that, unfortunately, women, when they are girls, are not taught by their fathers and mothers to keep that standard high, so they go for less, because what they know is less than what it should be. I am sure this is not always the case, but I believe it is most of the time. Of course, this also goes for the training men received when they were boys. Pro 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

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  7. Thank you so much! I ignored the red flags too n ended up with an STI but eventually left that horrible relationship after numerous cheating episodes and after he impregnated someone else ! I took a decision to look to God to make me whole n a godly woman. Its only been a couple of weeks and its hard but I keep looking to God for strength n trust Him to mould me to that godly woman he wants me to be! BUT TONIGHT thoughts of him came back wanting me to go back n call him and all and for some reason I read this article! It really encouraged me and the comments! God is good for real

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  8. HI There

    Thanks for the post im 28 ans still a virgin and its quite difficult to remain pure because sex is all over i for wxample nearly gave it up to a guy who does not even care about God but i finally came bck to my senses and realised its not worth it i should save myself for my prince lol though he is taking long to show up i know he will

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    • Miss B,
      I just want you to know I have no idea who you are, but I am so proud of you and I know God is too! YOU GO GIRL! Praying for you!! I love you:) your man is out there somewhere and he’s waiting for you and your purity and all girly! Keep goin:)

      God’s gotcha,
      Maddy

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  9. This has really opened up my eyes a lot and I’m so glad you have posted this message up I’m so thankful 🙂 now I know that ungodly men are not the way forward and that I have to seek for a Godly man or even better the one God has on store for me. All this time I’ve been running towards ungodly guys and wonder why it has never worked but I realised it was God telling me that I was going in the wrong direction. You are truly an inspiration God bless you x

    Thanks
    Danielle

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  10. Thank you so much for this post. Not a lot of people speak out about this and when I tried to, everyone just told me I was reading too much into you. I finally asked the guy why he followed so many girls and lustful thing on Instagram and he said, ” I just like them but you are beautiful and you’re better than all of these images.” Not realizing that I was not stupid, he continued to follow even more of these women that showed their bodies and posted videos to activate lust. At a point when I wasn’t so close to God, I allowed it to bother me and began comparing myself and thinking I was not good enough. He didn’t understand that because he was not a man of God/Godly man. He was not trying to protect me or my purity. Thank you dearly for this post.

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  11. I love this post. It breaks my heart to see all these girls that I grew up with fall for the same thing over and over again. I can’t find hardly anyone willing to wait for true godliness in a mate anymore. It’s very discouraging to see the way these girls settle on a regular basis, and a shame upon my gender to see these “men” treat their opportunity and responsibility to be a mature, godly leader so carelessly. It’s wonderful to hear your thoughts line up with the bibles so closely and to know there are more people out there who still stand for God’s truth and are willing to share it with others. Please keep it up!

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  12. Hey!
    Thank you so much for this. I learned this too, but God showed me how he stayed beside me the whole time protecting me from all of the things he tried to get me to do – two boys in a row. I see what I did wrong now and I’m working on not being as interested in guys and focusing more on the best guy in my life – Jesus. It’s crazy important to look for these red flags and also, remember that if you want them to change, being their girlfriend won’t help them. You can’t fix a guy-girl’s fall into that lie a lot too. It’s better just to stay away and tell them “I’m not interested.” Thanks for speaking the truth! So important!

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  13. I agree with everything in this article and learnt my lesson the hard way. I’ve never met or been in a relationship with a Godly man and I am willing to die waiting for one. I’m done living for this world and being further influenced into a sinful life by so called Christian boys. I know that there is a reward coming in choosing God over him. Bless you all!

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  14. 21 and waiting excitedly to see who God’s saving me for! I’m one of the few lights for Jesus around my campus. I was down so I decided to google for some encouraging words from godly girls. This wasn’t directed toward dudes, but it was very encouraging to hear that there are focused godly girls out there! Right on too!

    thx,
    jmp

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  15. Excellent!!! I was hollering, “Yes!” inside at every point you made. THANK YOU for telling it like it is and not trying to be all nicey-nice to avoid “judging” or “offending” people. The truth *may* offend some people, but if they don’t like the truth, that is their problem, not the truth’s problem.

    Please keep speaking up!

    God bless you,
    Katrina

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  16. I was once told to go for A MAN WHO LOVES JESUS MORE THAN HE LOVES ME!!!
    That’s a Godly man right there because He will protect you and love you just like Christ loves us. I wish i had taken this advice to heart. THANK YOU SO SO MUCH for this article.

    God bless you!!!

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  17. This is awesome. Thank you so much. I’ve always wondered what people meant in saying “lots of neat Christian boys, not a lot of Godly men” and now I know. As I grow older, I’ll be sure to take all that has been said with me. Blessings to all! ❤

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  18. I enjoyed reading about the importance of allowing God to be the matchmaker and to follow Him. I am currently searching for marriage and it’s really tough to find a Godly man. Many of the males pursue women for their looks and other things, but not based on good character. I am a plain jane girl that gets rejected by males because of my looks. The males are not interested that I follow the Lord and honor him nor about my personality. It’s all about the superficial that the men pursue. The good thing is that God is my matchmaker and when I was 13 years old I met a promise or covenant to him that I will remain clean and not have a boyfriend and date, but that God will deliver me a husband when the time is right for marriage. God did transform me to the woman that He wanted me to be not according the world’s standard. He’s done an awesome job, but it’s hard to go against the tide (world’s standards) because I have been treated like an outcast by many people including in family for following the Lord. God has picked my spouse and I know he will deliver on the promise. I am a millennial girl and it’s hard to go through what I go through in the transformation because it means being made fun of, guys rejecting me, not fitting in with people, and so forth, but it’s worth it. I know God will give me my husband soon. In my marriage, there is Man, God, and Me and we combine as One in Heart and it’s an Eternal Bond. I know God will make me very happy when Mr. Right comes into my life. 🙂

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  19. This is very good guidance for anyone who is seeking marriage to a good godly spouse. It is hard to avoid the pressures of the world, so I’m very glad this is here. At times the women are godlier and at times the men may be trapped by an ungodly woman. But I’m very glad that this is here, it helps to see what to look for in a good godly person. I guess the best thing is to be praying for the Lord to both bring us the right person and lead us to the right one. I’m glad you put this here. Thanks,

    God Bless

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  20. I love this article. I read it last year when i was burning with (holy) fire to meet a godly man. Recently, i relocated to another city and i no longer have godly people around me. i almost thought of settling for less because everyone tells me i will never find that kind of man but reading this article again has given me faith to believe there are godly men out there. No compromise! I know i am 28 and i have no experience with sex but i will wait for God’s will. Thanks Lauren for this wonderful post.

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  21. This is indeed a very good article 🙂 it’s really true, we should really pray for a Godly men. Don’t settle for less. Thanks for writing this. God bless. 🙂

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  22. What you really went deep into was very moving and I felt the need to come back to this, even though I already read it before. I’m am totally waiting on God’s perfect timing. He already knows me inside and out. He knows what my heart desires and I have nothing to worry about being single. My main focus is to give Him the glory everyday and making Him pleased with what I give Him 🙂 God is good!

    Like

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