by Shelton Williams
I’m shallow. I will admit it. I fight this never ending battle of face value. I put a value on girls like I’m the price tag.It’s terrible. If you will admit it, you’re probably the same way.
A woman is worth more than our subjective reasoning. She’s not tall enough. Her hair’s too short. She should be just a little cuter. Her body is not that impressive. Many of our reasons are completely physical. We are guilty of breaking hearts. How many girls have we written off because they do not fit our objective standards? We put too much emphasis on our preferences. If she is not America’s next top model than she is not worth it. That philosophy is as warped as someone saying Taylor Swift can sing. And I am not preaching at you. I am preaching at me. As I am writing, I see my own shallowness on display. And it is time as men we get rid of it! I know for me I used to judge how cool a guy was by how cute his girlfriend was. I feel so shallow just addressing this. What does her beauty have to do with his value? As foolish as that sounds, that logic meant everything to me. How many of us when a friend shows us their girlfriend our first reaction is, “Oh. She’s cute.” Why can’t we ask about who they are? We all do it. We all place unhealthy standards on the opposite sex. However it is just not fair.
What is the most important thing? The most important thing is not how gorgeous she is, but how gorgeous her heart is. God is the perfect example to follow.
“For the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” I Samuel 16:7b
How is her heart? That is the most important aspect of who she is. And I am not saying that you can’t be attractive to your spouse. However I am saying that her heart is the main priority. Her heart should be more attractive to you than her outward beauty. Beauty does not have a weight limit. Beauty is not some contest. She is beautiful whether you think so or not. She was made by the Almighty artist. You better watch how you’re talking about His art work. So I ask again, how is her heart? Does she love the Lord? Does she want to live Bold and Unashamed of Him? And do not tell me you want a Proverbs 31 woman while acting as a judge for a beauty contest. Beauty is spoken of in Proverbs 31, but not in a positive light. The Word of God actually calls it vain. Beauty is empty. Beauty by itself is superficial. Beauty by itself holds no weight. We need more Proverbs 31 women over Victoria Secret models.
Shallowness is honestly just a cover for insecurities. You want her to be perfect, but you know that you can never be. You want her to overlook your imperfections and see your heart. However you can’t overlook her imperfections? This hit me hard recently. I am a dark chocolate brother. I have that God-given tan. Because of this, I have stereotypes that scream just because of my complexion. I want people to get past the loud stereotypes and see me for who I am. However I cannot do that for the opposite sex? I cannot look past my shallow standards and find out about who that woman really is? Can you see the double standards that we place on women? We want people to see our hearts, but we refuse to look deeper ourselves.
How can we get rid of shallowness? We must realize our worth. Your worth is not found in a relationship. Your worth is not how cute your mate is. Your worth is in the resurrected Christ. If you were honest, you want a cute girl only to make yourself feel better. Instead of trying to have every girl match your lofty standards, how about you try to match the God standard? When we see God high and lifted up, we will notice how small we are in comparison. Isaiah’s reaction to seeing God is the proper way to view ourselves.
“Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts.” Isaiah 6:5
Isaiah did not start giving out his resume or try to explain to God how good he was. You may have a six pack, but in comparison to God you are nothing. I am nothing. You sin against a Holy, Righteous God every single day! You are not a standard of perfection. Jesus Christ is. And despite what a mess we are, despite how ugly we were in sin, despite the filth we were involved in, God said, “I want that man.” God did not take you at your best. He took you at your worse. He chose to love humanity when we were not the most attractive. How dare we be selective with our love? You do not need the most attractive women in the world to choose you because you have been chosen by God Himself.
“According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love.” Ephesians 1:4
God loves you the way you are. There’s nothing you can do that will make God love you any more or any less. His love is constant. So how can we turn around with this great love that has been given and be shallow?
Men, we need you. We are losing manhood. Ladies are begging for godly men, but we have been acting like selfish boys. Do not tell me that you are Bold and Unashamed, but you do not want to fight shallowness. Take the pressure off you. And take the pressure off of our godly women. Show them their worth is in Christ. Not Cover girl.
Originally posted on my brother’s blog BoldandUnashamed.com. Go check it out!
About the Author:
Shelton Williams is a current college student studying Youth Ministry. His hope and greatest desire is that his blog posts encourage, convict, and motivate this generation to serve an awesome God. Everyday striving to say like Paul, “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” He’s also Miami Heat fan (Yeah, we’re working on him about that).
Follow him on twitter @singingboy12