The Lord God said, “It is NOT GOOD that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” Genesis 2:18
There is this idea among SOME men these days that I hate…ok strongly dislike. The nice guys even, not the players and morons who don’t care and date every girl they know for the fun of it. It is this idea that if you just WAIT on God, He is going to magically drop the right girl into your lap, and you will live happily ever after.
PUHLEASE.
Guys, what other area of life do you do this in?
“I would really love some lunch… I am going to sit here on the couch and pray that God will bring me some lunch.”
“I would love a job… I’m going to pray that someone just calls me up and offers me the perfect job for me.”
“I really would be happy with six-pack abs…. I’m going to pray that if God really wants me to have six-pack abs, then He will give them to me.”
Seriously? In order to eat, you have to get up, go to the kitchen and get your own self a sandwich. In order to get a job, you have to apply, and in order to get yourself some six-pack abs, you have to put in the time at the gym. Dedication and hard work. That is what you were made for. So my question is… why do you do this with regard to relationships?
There is no example in the Bible where a man wanted a wife, and God dropped her into His lap. {Except Eve for Adam, but, c’mon, that doesn’t really count.} The men always had to put in the work….Genesis 24 is the longest chapter in the book of Genesis, and it is devoted to a description of the process for finding Isaac a wife. The right woman is absolutely essential for giving the best possible chance of having happy, godly marriage. Go ahead and read it. It is good information.
Finding a wife for Isaac was not an easy task. Why do you think that you are not going to have to put in a little time and effort?
Whosoever FINDETH a wife FINDETH a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord. Proverbs 18:22
Who can FIND a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10
FINDING usually implies that one is actively LOOKING for something. Now, I am all for God’s perfect timing, and praying about the decisions you make, and certainly the kind of women you intend to pursue. God WILL guide, but, I am so sorry to break it to you, but no wonderful, beautiful, Proverbs 31 woman is going to walk up to you and say, “Here’s my number. Call me, maybe.” If that is what you are waiting for, you will be sitting single on your couch for the rest of your life. Anything worth having is worth working for.
The thing is, men dont have to work for anything these days. With little to no effort, they win at video games, and sports, and they can even “win” watching crap on Tv or the internet….. if you want a godly wife, stop whining, and go find one. In the words of a godly guy I know….
“I don’t know a whole lot about a whole lot, but I know that hard work pays off. Hard work used to be the hallmark of manliness. It seems today, dudes try to measure manliness in things like tattoos, car rims, sneakers, video games, porn collections, promiscuity, and so on and so forth. It’s pathetic. Honestly.
It’s like fellas want the world on a silver platter because they see some celebrity or athlete living this incredible life with a beautiful woman on their arm. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting the best of the best, but if you want to be king of the the world, you sure as sunshine better be ready to go out and conquer that bad boy!
Like they say, “easy come, easy go.” Men usually don’t place a high value on things they attain easily. That’s why a guy will lose a nice girl over his Xbox. He’s put more time an effort into reaching level 50 than he has on building his relationship. A simple example, but I think the point is clear. The things we value the most are the things we work the hardest at. I think a future wife should definitely be near the top of that list.” -Ben Sebrell
Marriage is a beautiful picture of Jesus Christ and His bride, the church. If the man is a type of Christ, well the work is cut out for you. Christ came to earth, lived 33 years, died on a cross, and rose from the grave all to win His bride. I think what you may have to do is far less daunting.
What is the risk? dun dun dun…. rejection. So someone says “no…” Who cares?? She’s not the one, but some other lucky girl is. So please, move on! (Don’t worry guys, I have addressed the {Ladies Here} too.) Ya know, I’m not a guy. I can speak for what I see and myself. I think that alot of girls are looking. I think they are open to lots of possibilities. There is no Prince Charming. I don’t expect bachelor-like dates or super model abs. I am certainly not perfect and I don’t expect anyone else to be. I just want a guy that knows his stuff and fights like a man and likes me enough to kiss my face. That’s all the girl wants …. so if I am one, there have got to be more.
The girl for you is waiting for you to be brave enough to find her. That is {What Women Want.} There ARE plenty of good girls out there… I know them! She is certainly not going to come looking for you. So get up, put the game controller down, get out there, and go FIND yourself a wife.
thefulltimegirl.com 
As a married man who was fortunate enough to have this infused to my brain at an early age, I wholeheartedly agree and commend you for posting. For a secular kick in the batteries for all you ladies to share with the delinquent men out there…I think this is appropriate: http://artofmanliness.com/2008/01/16/stop-hanging-out-with-women-and-start-dating-them/
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Brilliant!!! 🙂
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Thank you, Mark!!
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Oh wow! Well reading this really helped me realize I’m on the right track. I used to play video games a lot growing up and now it’s like I don’t even try to not play them anymore. It’s like I just got too busy or it came naturally for me to stop. And I just put myself in the friend zone the other week (which is a huge step for me being that the girl always does it to me because I’m too lazy to let whoever it is go) because I knew even though she was “Christian” that she wasn’t right for me and that I would have only dated her for the fun of it and just so I could share some fuzzy feelings with. SO thank you for this. It really helped me keep going and not give up on a Godly woman.
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Amen!!
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The only problem with this is that people seek relationships above God often. They think “Oh I’ve been going to church and tithing constantly for some time now, so where is this Christian girl?”. Many Christian men get into relationships with women with extra baggage. This baggage is sin that is not being dealt with such as pornography. I feel people should be in a place of contentment when it comes to their relationship status and be seeking God whole heartedly before they even pursue a relationship. Go get connected in your church. Bible study with your age group, volunteer with people, go on a missions trip, something! But be at a place where you are doing it for the right reasons and one day your eyes will be opened up to a woman you’re already doing life with.
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I agree with this article wholeheartedly, but what about girls? Do they just sit home and wait for God to drop a man in their lap? Because that doesn’t work in any other area of life for women, either. I know a lot of attractive, intelligent girls who are doing just that, and they are getting older and older all the time, with no prospects in sight.
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While I don’t believe women should be the pursuers in any relationship, I don’t believe we should just sit home or in our little corner and pray for God to bring one to church on Sunday either. Lol definitely get out there and make yourself available to be pursued! Try new things and meet new people, and put yourself out there….. Or sit and wait and find nothing.
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Thank you for this article. Great read and find. I have to admit I am one of “those men who pray for a single christian woman to come into my life… I have been to a few churches and it seems like all the women are taken. Its hard to be shy and to try to find a woman to go date.
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You need to come to my church, we seem to have the opposite problem. Lots of single women looking for A Godly guy! Good luck with your search.
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Where is your church?
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Danbury, Ct— Colonial Hills Baptist Church
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I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, and I agree wholeheartedly. I have been sitting and waiting for years . . . no dice. The only problem is that I cannot seem to figure out even a semblance of a game plan for the “pursuit”. You would think that here in the southern Bible belt this would be simple. It turns out that the rural setting makes this somewhat difficult
As a youth teacher/minister I cannot visit other congregations, and there simply are few women my age if that even were a possibility. Here’s to seeking our the right path of pursuit.
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I have been searching for such article. Christ-the man analogy was great. “Finding Isaac wife” was interesting. I had always thought it was “God gifted”. I’m single currently seeking a life-partner. It is reassuring to know that godly girls do still exist in a considerable number.
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As always Lauren great stuff and very true. I agree with you 100% and I needed to hear this. Though this is not something that I have ever doubted or believed in, its an area I’ve struggled in and its frustrating.
I definitely believe and know everything you said is true, the bible has examples and obviously states that men are to go out and find a wife if you don’t have the gift. Some how these days we have bought into the lie that we can sit back and let women pursue us, that’s not the way it works and it never will because that wasn’t Gods plan. The sooner we as men realize that the better we will be. Again Lauren thank you for this, its a powerful truth.
Sometimes we also go after the wrong girls that God doesn’t want us to have and it can discourage us and make us not want to pursue so we don’t get rejected. However you are right and hopefully we will do better and I need to start with myself.
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Firstly, miss Lauren, you are always on point in the topics that you cover and I cannot stop myself from sharing everything I just about read from this blog. So blessed to have come across it and you. Learned and learning so much. Secondly, I FULLY agree with all that you said. It gets frustrating at times, for us girls, at least I know me, when like you said, we also look and explore possibilities. And then to think that the guys nowadays are kind of just sitting there and waiting on God. You start to lose hope. But also, like Brady said, so many people lose sight of who they should be after first here, they start going crazy over finding a spouse. And that makes way for entering into things that they aren’t ready for. Its also important to remember as young people especially, to really cherish your single years. Because once they’re gone, they’re gone. Living for the Lord while still single is amazing and its important not to lose sight of that. But I’ve also read about your spin on things on singleness so I think I can say you agree. 🙂 This was a different topic and I absolutely loved it. Thank you once again. God bless you.
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Lauren, after reading only 2 of your posts I’m incredibly enthusiastic to say that you are absolutely refreshing to say the least, and astoundingly a true godly, inspirational, heart-warming, and life-giving woman to say… well, it’s still not the most, but I’m sure there’s a comment word character limit here somewhere.
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thank you for such an article greatly inspired.
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This is wonderful and inspiring. God bless you.
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I stumbled on this because I was feeling hopeless and typed into google search “how to find a Godly wife”. I realize this is a few years old but I’m so glad I found this. Please leave this up for others to find, as I found it very helpful, encouraging, truthful and empowering. Duh, we don’t pray for a job and then just go sit in the closet lol. We are to pray but we are to take action too. Thank you for this.
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Hey. Thanks! With me being in my early thirties now, I have found it more complicated to make meaningful friendships with people. This has led me to search “how to find a Godly wife” on google. I found your blog as a result. Praying for a Godly woman and waiting for her to magically appear is no different than just wishing for something. With hard work, you will find something.
Now I am a regular attender and member of my church. The problem is that I haven’t ever really did anything with my membership. This has led to my profound revelation: “If you are a member of a Church, you NEED to be connected into a ministry.” How else are you going to be engaged with the body of Christ? I am in the process of seeking out an older mentor and connecting with a discipleship group. I want to meet more brothers and sisters of Christ that can support me and the body, and I want to do everything I can to support them. This will not be done by playing video games or sulking on the bed and feeling lonely and sorry for yourself. I know that Godly women are doing things for the Lord, and that’s where I know that I’ll find her.
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