What women want. {Listen up, guys}

I think that guys take a lot of bashing these days.

Be a man.
Take responsibility.
Treat her right.
Don’t say this.
Don’t do that.
Gosh, grow up.

I know I have done my fair share, and perhaps rightfully so at times. However, I do know good guys. I know men who truly want to be better than they are. Who want to be brave and strong and do their best to raise a family to the glory of God. I don’t think that these men get the attention and encouragement they deserve.

It’s not easy being a girl. That’s the truth. But I can not imagine it is easy to be a man either. Men have a tremendous amount of responsibility. They are the spiritual head of the home. Men are responsible for their entire family all of their lives. It is a big task to take on, and it is not for the faint of heart.

People always talk about how precious and special women are to God, and that is ok because it is true and easy to talk about. But you guys, you are just as precious and special to Him.

Think about the relationship that a father has with his son. A special bond that can never be broken. One of love, and honor, enduring commitment, and constant care. Think of the father who sees his son on the baseball field or at graduation, and he smiles with pride and says, “He’s mine.”

But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. Isaiah 43:1

For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God. Romans 8:15-16

The sons of God are no less dear to His heart than His daughters.

A friend told me this story. Imagine Jesus walking on the beach with a little boy. Hand in hand they are walking. You then see Jesus stop, kneel down, and talk to the boy. You hear Jesus telling the boy how much he loves him, and that he has made him with a purpose- to grow into the man He has in His perfect will planned for him to be. He tells the boy He will be there every step of the way. He will never leave, but will be there guiding him along so that he is never alone. As you get closer, you realize that boy is you.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

You are the sons of God. He loves you so much that He wants to mold you and make you into His valiant warriors. He wants to teach you to be like Jesus. He wants you to trust Him to be the example of what a husband should be. He wants you to take His hand so that He can make you into the father after His own heart.  He wants you to get on your knees and beg Him for his grace to be the man God has called you to be. He wants you to find your ultimate satisfaction in Him. Nothing apart from him will satisfy-Not money, women, or success-Not your looks, or brains, or biceps-Not fame, or friends, or performance. Nothing apart from Christ alone will make you whole. Only He can complete you. Your worth does not come from anything outside of Him. It comes from the One who created you, and has already defined you.

Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God. 1 John 3:1a

And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power. Colossians 2:10

The LORD is my strength and my song, and he has become my salvation; this is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him. Exodus 15:2

There is nothing stronger and more manly on the earth than a man who is in love with Christ and is fully surrendered to His will.

That man is a hero. That man can change the world. With his hand in God’s, that one man can do big things- things that matter- things that will change the world now and for eternity. He can be bold for his Savior.

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life;  of whom shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1 

Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. Romans 8:37

Whatever it is that you do, God has a divine plan that is bigger than your everyday routine. It is bigger than the plans that you have for yourself. He has promised to help you, and lead you, and guide you, and mold you into the man you can not be on your own-the man that only Christ can make. It won’t always be easy. In fact, it might be the hardest journey you could ever dare to take, but it is the only path that is perfect. It is the only path that satisfies. It is the only path of peace.

Men, there are women who want to stand beside you, take your hand, and join your mission for Christ.

These women want so badly for you to be brave. To fight against fear and lust and pride, and to protect them from the rest of the world. They want you to lead them, just as Christ leads the church, and love them enough to die for them.  If you follow Christ, and humble yourself, and get on your knees every day, God will provide a good woman for you. Not a girl who plays games, and is out to destroy you, but a good woman of God who will seek to pray for you, encourage and hep you, and build Godly homes with you. We want you to know how special you are to God, and find your worth in Him. We want you to be satisfied in your love for Christ so that you can be an equipped leader for our homes. I promise they are out there. I know them personally. You may even be married to one. We are waiting for brave men who know their stuff, and are valiant enough to fight like a man, follow God, and seek to be like Jesus.

So if you are married or single….we are asking, not demanding, not bashing, really begging….. please, be the man we know you can be with God’s help. He is the only answer. God wants you guys to be brave. We want you to be brave. God loves you so much, and HE is asking for you to come, and follow Him. It won’t be easy, and it will cost you, but it will be worth it. It is the only thing that will ever be worth it. It is the only thing that will fulfill you because it is what you were made for. Men, come and be what you were made to be in Christ. Come and be made whole. Come and be warriors the God that you love. We want you to be our heroes.

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,  as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

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19 comments

  1. Thank you so much for this post! So many times I hear girls complaining (especially on a christian college campus) about the guys and how there are no good guys. While this is a challenge to us to be real men of God I thank you for the kind encouragement instead of the constant tearing down of men that I hear. Once again thank you so much for this post and Glory to God!

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  2. I teared up reading this. It touched me. Im in a godly relationship with someone I prayed to God about. I fell in love. I prayed. God told me she is the one hes prepared for me. My rib. He recently told me the date of the wedding. Were both trying hard to keep faith. And ive wondered how shes felt about me. And now i feel this is alot of it. It touches my heart some one out there cares so much to encourage the men of God thank you.

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  3. As a fellow blogger of similar content, I feel the need to ask for a flipped coin…meaning that you address the same issue from the other side of the coin, from the guy’s perspective. I think this issue is a two way street where there are plenty of guys ready to lead that continually are hurt or lead down the path of sin because of a girl or two with their dress, their attitudes, how they sway the opinions of a guy, or even how they manipulate to get what they want from boys/men. Just a few things of many that I’ve personally experienced as well as more things I’ve seen happen too. I mean the saying does go behind every good man is a good woman. What happened to the woman who was absolutely sold out to not just be lead but to serve? What about the woman who actively looks at what she wears not for style or fashion or what she thinks looks cute but thinks about what guys think of it, and what will they look to?

    Just some ideas, I’m thinking of writing a few posts on this topic in the next few weeks based from you’re idea. I’ll give you a link for credit. Check out my website too 🙂

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    • Hey Rob, thanks for reading! If you check out my other posts you will see that it is my main focus to encourage girls in these very areas!! I completely understand what you are saying and as a woman, I strive to take a stand and help others to recognize what God calls us to as women of God. :]

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  4. Your posts are some of the most challenging, yet uplifting words I’ve ever read. And to hear your thoughts and wisdom on this subject is encouraging. It is extremely difficult being both a man and woman of God in these times, but it can be done with His help. I have to remind myself daily that I am not my own, and that I am bought with a price. Even in times of being in the valley, we are to soley trust in Almighty God. I have learned so much from your posts. God has blessed you with a tremendous amount of wisdom. God bless and thank you for your help. Young men need this; myself included.

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  5. Thank you, seriously.

    I’ve lived this way, striving to be brave, and fully committed to God. It is rough, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

    I’ve dated girls, that have noticed that in me… but it never really worked out leaving me frustrated and confused. This left me always wondering why they didn’t stay with me. I still don’t know. However, that doesn’t matter anymore, reading this gave me hope, she is out there, and I’ll continue to pray for her. Thank you for sharing.

    Grace and peace,

    Max

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  6. It is nice to finally see a blog where all men are not taking it on the chin so to speak, where all relationship problems are the mans fault. Ladies, please hear me out. Yes there are way too many guys who give the rest of us a very bad name, but not all of us! Just like there are way to many women giving “ladies” a bad name. If a person is continually attracting the wrong type of person, it may be time to look inwardly and determine why they are attracted to you, instead of continually putting blame on others for your choices. There are many Godly men of integrity out there doing their best, just like Godly women. Please don’t lump us all together. We are all worthy of God’s best in a spouse.

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    • Lance, I definitely agree with what you are saying. I think girls and guys both do that, lumping ALL men and ALL women together. I know I wouldn’t want a guy who’s never gotten to know me just assume something about me because of the way the majority of girls are. So yes, I need to take this to heart: That even though it is really hard to find a good guy like Lauren was just speaking of, they ARE out there. I’m sure there are plenty of guys who would say the same thing about women, but there ARE some of them out there too. They’re just the minority.

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  7. Hit the nail on the head with how men should approach marriage and submit before God. I am confident that although I am 26 and single that His timing is perfect and that He will provide her because only He can. I admire your words and I am confident that many men will be blessed because of this post. Thanks for being so straight-forward and candid, I think it means a lot especially when we can see that there are women out there who have this perspective and share a heart for God that can only be molded by Him who created us.

    Keep doing what you do and encouraging both men and women to seek God with all their hearts. The practical wisdom embedded within and verses to consider also make it an all around pleasure to read your work.

    God bless you. Continue to bring God glory by His grace. Cheers.

    – Victor Nunez

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  8. Lauren this is so perfect. Its time for a revolution among Christian women…too many of us expect so much of our men without being willing to stand behind them to cheer them on, and walk with them with compassion, conviction, and grace. It breaks my heart to know that guys don’t think there are women who will appreciate a man sold out completely to The Lord.

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  9. Thank you for writing this one. It was really encouraging and motivating to keep moving forward to be the man God has called me to be.

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