Purity is not just physical: um.. what about him?

Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God. Matthew 5:8

Anyone who has been a Christian for any length of time knows that God expects us to keep ourselves pure for our future spouse. Save sex for marriage. Not only for spiritual reasons, but for so many, many health reasons. There are so many risks you are exposing yourself to in having sex before marriage and/or with multiple partners. God knows what He is talking about.

God expects us to keep ourselves pure. However, purity is not just physical. The mind is such an unbelievably powerful weapon, used for good or evil. The mind controls the body, and every action the body takes. If Satan can destroy the purity in someones mind, He will most surely destroy the purity of the body. There are so many people who feel like as long as they stay physically pure, then God is pleased, when God has clearly said, “the word of God is quick and powerful.. and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”

“Men are pigs.” “Boys are stupid.” I’ve heard this a thousand times, but what have we done about it? Have we really been doing our part to expect more out of them? No, we coddle their sin, and cater to their selfishness, because we just want to be loved. This is getting us no where, ladies. I think that it is time that we as women stand up and expect more out of men. And guys, if you are truly fighting for your purity as you should, I commend you and respect you; and you will not be offended by this article.

Men and women should BOTH keep their minds pure by God’s standards. I am addressing the men because men are the ones most biologically stimulated by the visual, and struggle most in this area.

How many guys do you think really fight for purity in their thought life, and guard what they let their eyes see? In my experience? Some do, but sadly, not many…..  Advertisements, movies, magazines, even video games all feature “scantily clad” women and sexual scenes that are NOT conducive to a pure and holy thought life. If Christian men are so in agreement that their Christian sisters be held to a higher standard of dress, shouldn’t they also be held to a higher standard of what they allow themselves to sit and take into their minds on the television or computer? How is it that the girl sitting next to them should keep herself covered up while he watches half-naked women on the screen?

If I am keeping my body covered and saved for only my future spouse and not tempting other men with it, then I most certainly deserve a man who has saved his eyes and mind for only me.

How is it that I am expected by God to keep covered only to watch the men around me take in whatever they want to with regards to their eyes? If only my husband has a right to see my body, then men should NOT have a right to look at other men’s wives. If women are held to a higher standard by the Word of God, then, surely, men are too.

Finally, brethren,
whatsoever things are honest,
whatsoever things are just,
whatsoever things are pure,
whatsoever things are lovely,
whatsoever things are of good report;
if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise,
think on these things.
Philippians 4:8

Can he really be sitting there thinking of all lovely, pure, and virtuous things while watching that tv program or movie or commercial? Or checking out the hot girl walking by him in the store? Or walking by Victoria’s Secret at his local mall, and staring in at the posters? Seriously?

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Matthew 5:27-28

The sad fact of the matter is, girls, we are not the only ones who believe the lies in this area. Satan tells men that physical appearance is truly the standard of beauty. That a girl’s face and body equal her worth, and, girls, it is really up to us to send a different message if we want things to change.

Satan also tells guys that what they look at is no big deal, “It’s just a movie or a game, it isn’t real. It is just one little part in the movie… or it’s really not worth missing this entire movie because the main woman is dressed poorly… and no one really knows what you are thinking. It’s not going to affect your thought life in the long run.” Or even if it affects them, it is not hurting anyone else. Well, that’s not the truth. God holds you to a higher standard- a Jesus standard. Whatsoever things are honest, pure, lovely, and virtuous is not just for Sunday morning. It is also for Friday nights at home or Saturday nights at the movies or out on the town.

To be honest, (and I doubt I’m the only one) if I am with a guy, and something questionable comes in front of him, I watch his eyes. If something comes on the television that is clearly inappropriate, he needs to either look away or turn the channel. Period. If a girl walks by him that is wearing a revealing outfit, he should turn his head and keep walking. I know you can not prevent all things from entering your line of sight, especially in this world, but you can prevent them from staying there. If guys only knew how honored and respected that makes a woman feel when they take it upon themselves to guard their eyes and protect their purity.

If a guy can’t even protect his own purity, I am certainly not going to trust him to protect mine.

But flee also youthful lusts; but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
 2 Timothy 2:22

Not only are these attacks on the eyes of men and boys everywhere, they are also on their ears. Music has such a powerful impact on the thoughts and mindset. It can not be argued that the music you listen too affects your mood and the way you think. This is why they play sexual, pounding dance music in a club. Music sets the tone.

If you don’t think that your music affects your mind, you have believed another lie.

For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father but is of the world.
1 John 2:16

The music industry is out of control. The lyrics are beyond overtly sexual, it is pornography for the ears… not to mention the music videos. The sad part is, it’s barely shocking anymore. It’s allowed and accepted; even among Christians. Bottom line, a guy OR girl listening to most music popular on the radio today is not thinking pure and lovely things.

..man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7b

You may think that if you save your virginity for your marriage partner, you are doing pretty good; exceptional, even, when compared to the people of the world, and that means that you are “pure.” However, if you are not keeping your mind and heart pure, even after marriage, then you do not measure up to God’s standards.

He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his would unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully. He shall receive a blessing from the Lord, and righteousness from the God of his salvation. Psalm 24:4-5

Purity is not just physical. True purity encompasses all that we do in spirit, mind, and body. If we want the blessing and power of God associated with purity, we need to step up our game. We need to raise our standards. We need to stop letting things slide because it is damaging our relationships; it is damaging to our boyfriends, husbands, and sons; it is damaging to ourselves, our sisters, and our daughters. We can take responsibility by not allowing these things into our relationships.

Girls, if you see an advertisement at the store, in the mall, on television, you have a right to speak up about it. Write that store, email the company, take a stand for purity. We may not know the outcome, and things may not change, chances are, they are only going to get worse! But, I for one, will not sit idly by while they do. I have a mouth and I have a message, and I will take a stand.

Men are not the victims of their mind.

Men CAN control their thought life, and think on things that are only pure. God commanded it; therefore, it is possible. I understand that it is hard, doing right always is, but that is why God commands us to fight. He will be there every step of the way. However, If guys are listening to and placing things in front of their eyes that completely contradicts all that is pure, then they are not even trying. The fact is, Satan works harder to gain control and destroy purity than most men do to protect it. Jesus calls us to be holy, sacred, without blame, and He was pure when He walked this earth. We need to learn to ask for and expect this type of purity in men.

How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed thereto according to thy Word.
Psalm 119:9

Every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure.
1 John 3:3

God’s Word cleanses and purifies our thoughts and minds. It is the only thing that can. It is the solution to a sexually sick world. It ALONE will keep a man from stumbling into sin, and if he does not keep scripture at the forefront of his mind, he needs to raise his standards and start to fight. He needs to become obsessed with Jesus and scripture… we all do if we want to stay wholly pure in this world.

The statutes of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes.
Psalm 19:8

We desperately need to fight for purity; whole, true purity. We need to build walls around ourselves and the men in our lives and protect their eyes, ears, minds, and hearts from these attacks of Satan. We need to turn some things OFF in our lives. We need to open our mouths against immoral thinking and impure images placed in front of men all the time. We need to expect more out of these men who know better. We need to stand up and say enough is enough and this is not okay. It’s not okay by God, and it’s not okay by us. We will NOT settle for less, because true purity is not just physical.


PS. Some people have said, “Why don’t you just be concerned with yourself and not the wrongs that other people are committing? Why don’t you just be the best Christian YOU can be and not worry about everyone else?” WHY? Because, just as people take a stand and join the battle against the evils of abortion or sex trafficking don’t “just worry about themselves,” I will fight for what I believe to be true and right. I am concerned with myself very much. I am far from perfect, but I strive to be the best follower of Christ I can be for His glory. However, I believe this to be a devastating problem in our generation, and I will stand up and speak for the right. This is what God says, and I will not apologize for it.

To read my post on Pornography, click here

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Thank you!


    • Thank you for writing this article. I have been struggling with this topic. My husband thinks places like Hooters and Tilted Kilt, Twin Peaks are all just good fun and nothing is wrong with going there. I have a huge problem with it. And this article sums it up.


  1. well said, I loved it….been thinking through the stuff you wrote about myself since last month. May God continue to give us the grace and strength to be pure at heart


  2. Very good stuff! My husband and I are in the middle of a series with our teens about these very issues. I’ve taken the girls and he’s taken the guys. Will probably have to quote you on some of this if that’s ok.


  3. I completely agree with everything said here. It takes much work to truly guard one’s eye gate, but it is possible. Our family members and friends have made fun of my husband through the years for turning his head or going out of the way to avoid sexual or sensual images. Sometimes it’s at the mall, sometimes it’s the newspaper advertisements, and sometimes, sadly, it’s at church.

    Thank you for speaking out on these heart issues. It’s a rare thing to behold such true beauty in a young woman these days. My favorite part was your P.S! I increasingly run across people (mainly Christians) that are uncomfortable when someone else lives a separated life based on biblical principles. And, the gnashing of teeth doesn’t even being to describe what happens if you even hint at the issues and wrongs lovingly incubated by society or, perhaps -gasp!- fellow Christians.

    I am having my daughter read your blog. While we are teaching her that we should do right even if no one else is doing right, it’s so helpful when someone like you helps to lead the way to blessing. Shine on, Girl! Salt and light never looked so good!


  4. This reminds me of one of my poems. Many today lurk around seeking satisfaction in the physical appearance of ladies and the beauty of a lady goes beyond her physical appearance. While the resolve of visual perception is topping the chart of true love, we all wallow in total deception and fail to listen to the whisper from within: “Not all that glitters is gold.

    Thanks for sharing this.


  5. I am a mother of four girls, two of which are grown and married and my youngest two are still in college. I was so excited to read your blogs and find that there are a lot more young women like my youngest two that are taking a stand. Our daughters believe in purity, which is in the minority these days. I love what you said about “If a guy cannot protect his own purity, how can I trust him to protect mine”. This is so true and something us parents have discussed many many times and I feel so blessed that our girls have chosen this Godly walk. It did not make them very popular in high school, but then again, by whose standards? I pray everyday for their future husbands and as women of Christ we should be praying for the spiritual warfares our husbands and young men our facing everyday and lift them up in prayer. You’re right purity is not just physical, men can control their thoughts and we as women need to help protect them by starting to pray for a hedge of protection about this over their lives.


  6. I absolutely love this. I unfortunately did not wait until marriage, but when I rededicated my life to Christ, I made the decision to live pure and upon further discovery, I realized that purity was an all-encompassing thing, something that must be practiced in all aspects of life. Despite what mistakes I’ve made in my past, God has truly done a new work in me and I’ve never felt better on this daily walk of purity. It isn’t easy, but God has been faithful and given me strength to endure. Keep spreading the Word, we need this as a body.


  7. Great stuff! This is a wonderful, Biblically supported, article on the importance of being set apart and maintaining purity. Bottom line? Garbage in, garbage out.

    Beyond compromising your own life, your loved ones and your Christian walk, none of these are victimless crimes. In the extreme, clicking on pornographic sites increases demand. Increased demand leads to peolpe engaged in filling that demand. Human Trafficking is largely involved in the Sex Trade — children, as young as five years of age, are being trafficked because of others prurient interests. Stop Clicking!!!

    Feel good that pornography doesn’t effect you. Supply and demand applies to the other aforementioned areas, as well. The standard is high and the bar was set by no less than, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

    Thank you Lauren, for challenging Christians to a higher-calling in our walk with the Lord.


  8. Wow! This is amazing! Thank you so much for sharing it. I cannot describe what God has done in my heart while reading this.


  9. Hi, I just wanted to say that I just discovered your blog and I’ve read several posts so far… thank you so much for what you do. God is definitely using you! 🙂


  10. Lauren, I shared this on twitter and on Facebook. Thank you for speaking up for all the girls who have braced the disappointment of seeing their significant other (at one time) look in another girl’s direction. I had spent so many years thinking I had to compete with the busty girl on the screen that made my date’s eyes glisten in a way I could never seem to. Thankfully I’ve moved on from those people and thankfully we have people like you in this world willing to be the “bad guy” and stand with intolerance for these injustices towards purity. Thank you for being the voice for the all the young girls who are too timid to speak up about this issue and are willing to accept any affirmation they can get. This post hit home for me. I hope men are able to realize that not only are they not doing right by the command to be pure, but they are warping girl’s views of themselves as well. We should never feel as though we are inadequate compared to any other girl.. We should be celebrated for our commitment and celebrated for who we are. I will say that I am attracted to the man who is attracted to modesty. I mean, what man wouldn’t love the idea of a precious gift only meant for him to unwrap?


  11. Love this! Well said! In the past, I always thought I was the only one who felt this way regarding this topic! Thank you for standing up for truth:)


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